flash of insight

I am trying this out!

2011-06-13T19:16:00.002-05:00

I am still home, I have some ironing pants hemming and packing left. But I just wanted to say hello to those already there and try this blogger thing out.

That's all at the moment, martha

new years eve eve

2009-12-30T23:09:00.003-06:00

I just have to have a new post, the other is too old.

I came from dinner after choir practice. We are preparing to go sing at the National Cathedral next month, and we need some tuning up. This weekend we will practice in the chapel at Sewanee to get the feel of a cathedral space, even though it is smaller, I suppose the acoustics are similar in a way. Anyhow, We are going to stay at the cabin of a friend and it should be a fun time.

I hadn't been invited anywhere for new years eaither, and Kim came across with a supper invite, bless her. But I need to stop all this feasting and lose some weight.

Skeezix hasn't peed todya and this is a problem for him because he is prone to getting bladder infections. But at the moment he is chasing Trixie around, so perhaps that is a good indication that he is feeling okay. Maybe the vet will be there tomorrow and I can run him by. I would hate for him to be sick and have to wait until next week, or go to the emergency place. I just don't want to pay them. I could take him to Banfield's on the saturday if I had to. Or have Mary do it.

Anyhow, xmas was nice, and with its usual stresses. Everyone liked the stuff they got for the most part. I just realized tonight that I didn't get much, but I am glad they didn't spend too much like they did last year. I did want a phone and a ladder, neither of which I got. So I guess I will have to take care of getting those myself. And we had a nice to do with my family. And now it is all over yay. a little goes a long way.

I also don't feel great these past few days. I am having a lot of coughing too. Maybe tonight I will take some of the syrup that knocks me out. I have also decided to stop taking the advair. It costs too much and I really don't think it does anything for me. and so I can stop the singulair too. That saves me 350-400 dollars per month. I noticed symptoms when I ran out of Zyrtec though, so perhaps that is working. I just don't like the sensitivity of my mouth tissue using the advair. If it really made a difference, I would continue, but I just tdon't think it is.

okay, well at least I wrote something. I have been wanting to yet having trouble getting started so now perhaps I wont be such a slacker. No pix tonight though, as my hands are numb.

oh, ho, the mistletoe

2009-12-11T21:02:00.003-06:00

Another Friday night, home because I want to be but sort of bored or slightly melancholy, holiday blues or something. It isn't a lack of company, it is a lack of get up and go. I have a zillion things I want to do, and I just sit and think of them all. I want to do them all.

Tomorrow night is my company's party. I feel it is important for me to go, but I really don't want to. It is just another opportunity for me to feel big, awkward and out of place. Perhaps that is my problem, I am feeling big and awkward. I don't feel like I belong. I don't want this feeling. But it has to do with my size and precarious position with my job. Maybe that is what this is about, maybe I am fearful I will get depressed and fat and have no job for a while. Maybe I am helping it to come true. But having to look for a job is just an event that sets an idea in ones mind that you are not valued or wanted. And it spreads, insidious negative thoughts.

I am waiting for my bonus so I can get the shopping done. I don't have any ideas this year for the kids. I have something for all the friends except D. I just don't know what I could get the man who has everything. Sometimes I am able to be creative enough to find him an interesting book, but this year I just have no idea.

I had a second and unrelated dream about a neat area of town, when you come upon it, it seems as though you are in an old neighborhood, another era-- lots of brick and stonework, cozy row houses and winding streets, one street was Kent. It was located on a ridge above town, and it isn't easy to get to it or out of it. It was so real, it makes me want to see a map. In the first dream, which was several months ago, I found myself in this exclusive neighborhood on foot. I wasn't sure how I got there or how I was going to get out again. It was a bit like Narnia, you turn a familiar corner and there you are. Previously, I was shopping and choir friends were in bits of it. This last time, my ex husband was in it. Who knows where these things come from. But I would love it to be a real place. And I would like to live there.

Last Sunday I cancelled going to Sewanee for Lessons and Carols. Tonight I was supposed to go see Hansel and Gretel with Joe, but I begged off. I have been too tired to do anything but come home and nap. I think it is depression too. But I can't let that get me.

Cousin Lucy is doing alright, She had a painful anniversary Wednesday, the first year after the tragedy with her father and family. I called Thursday, I sort of wimped out on her.

I found patterns to make some of the little cardboard christmas villages of yesteryear. They are called putz. I think I might try my hand, as they are not too hard, and I have wanted some so badly. There is a website that has the patterns and instructions. He has done whole villages. I want the whole thing. Kim has a tree full of these little houses. It is adorable. I don't think we had any when I was growing up, but I do remember them, and we had some glittery houses that hung as ornaments. I just love them all. They are so nostaglic!

2 December 2009

2009-12-02T18:17:00.002-06:00

Well, the concert countdown begins. We do two this weekend, then all the xmas stuff. I have decided that I don't enjoy so much of it because I am distressed about being over extended. And so I shall learn to say no. I have already said, only one Christmas Eve service. I think I will pass on a trip to Sewanee for Lessons and Carols this Sunday, and try to get excited about our own which is later in the month. I have a party on the 12th, company, and were it not for my precarious job position at the mo', I think I would blow that off as well, but I think it would be prudent for me to be seen at any and all such functions.

And so I am looking forward to the holdays being over rather than beginning. This just doesn't seem right to me somehow.

I also spent all my excess money lately on car repairs and house repairs and so I have to be very careful in general, not to mention xmas presents.

So, off I go to a choir rehersal tonight, followed by a rehearsal tomorrow and friday night for the chorus concert Saturday. Two concerts I should say. I ought not miss church Sunday, but I am very tempted.

I am learning new things at work, and this has really strung me out. I am not opposed, but it is keeping up with due dates and requests for recommitment and making sure nothing is late. I think I can track the info my way, but the girl teaching me does't think like I do so we are having a time of the lessons. I know she thinks I am an idiot, and I thing she is a bitch, when in reality, we just have different ways of approachng it. But I do need to try to get it, becasue currently I am unable to respond to simple questions like what is the percentage of releases for this week? It has been hard for me to get my arms around this, I am not sure why. Anyway it is stress filled, every day, and I have no sick leave, or vacation, and I can't escape it ayway. And next week they are going to expand it from drawings only to drawings and documents.

whew! I didn't realize just how wound up I was.

The Edmund Fitgerald 10 Nov 1972

2009-11-10T19:38:00.002-06:00

Gordon Lightfoot
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
When the skies of November turn gloomy.

With a load of iron ore - 26,000 tons more
Than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty
That good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
When the gales of November came early

The ship was the pride of the American side
Coming back from some mill in Wisconson
As the big freighters go it was bigger than most
With a crew and the Captain well seasoned.

Concluding some terms with a couple of steel firms
When they left fully loaded for Cleveland
And later that night when the ships bell rang
Could it be the North Wind they'd been feeling.

The wind in the wires made a tattletale sound
And a wave broke over the railing
And every man knew, as the Captain did, too,
T'was the witch of November come stealing.

The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait
When the gales of November came slashing
When afternoon came it was freezing rain
In the face of a hurricane West Wind

When supper time came the old cook came on deck
Saying fellows it's too rough to feed ya
At 7PM a main hatchway caved in
He said fellas it's been good to know ya.

The Captain wired in he had water coming in
And the good ship and crew was in peril
And later that night when his lights went out of sight
Came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Does anyone know where the love of God goes
When the words turn the minutes to hours
The searchers all say they'd have made Whitefish Bay
If they'd fifteen more miles behind her.

They might have split up or they might have capsized
They may have broke deep and took water
And all that remains is the faces and the names
Of the wives and the sons and the daughters.

Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings
In the ruins of her ice water mansion
Old Michigan steams like a young man's dreams,
The islands and bays are for sportsmen.

And farther below Lake Ontario
Takes in what Lake Erie can send her
And the iron boats go as the mariners all know
With the gales of November remembered.

In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed
In the Maritime Sailors' Cathedral
The church bell chimed, 'til it rang 29 times
For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald.

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
Superior, they say, never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early.

© 1976 Moose Music, Inc.

What a cool song. I liked that one and also the Yarmouth Castle. Who else ever remembers these disasters besides the families of lost loved ones.

It has been a hard day, I am feeling very much unwanted by the organization. I know its a passing feeling, and that I will find something, it was just real evident today that my managers (who determined who was to stay or go) didn't think my tasks were very important. I do think they are important, perhaps in a different organization, but still. Hard not to be down when you know what you do doesn't really matter. sigh*

I really need to take a look at my expenditures etc., to see how I will manage having no income. It just seems so distasteful though. I don't like thinking about it.

I felt like I should blog, as it has been a month, but I don't really feel like talking so I will go now and return in a day or so when I don't feel so glum.

Autumn is flying by

2009-10-27T09:07:00.007-05:00

I think this year has sped by incredibly fast. I barely remember how it was as a kid waiting for Halloween to come. It is this week, and I am not prepared at all. Well, it isn't as though I am going anywhere, in fact, it will be the first time I am actually home for the tricker treaters. I need to get some treats.

My heat and air has been replaced and I am excited about that. Now I just need to get the house cleaned up. I also need some other things done like digging some drains for the foundation vents so water stays out of my nice clean crawlspace. Also, the new door they put on needs paint, and the mud needs tending to as well. One of the installers said he is avaialbe for handyman hire, and I think I will try him out. I felt comfortable with him being in and around my house, and he was nice to my kitties. He also replaced the too small p[ipe to my gas logs and now I can have them work too. No charge, he said he saw it was the wrong type and size of pipe and so he fixed it.

It is too soon to say if I have improved since the mold has been removed. I still have been coughing up crud, but I think I feel a return of energy and I don't feel as spent and lack lustre as I had been. I have an appointment with the pulmonologist Thursday, so we shall see. I did contract thrush from the inhaler. This is not a fun thing to have. I got some nasty stuff to swish and swallow, but it didn't get rid of it totally. For babies, they give some purple stuff to paint inside the mouth. I think that would be preferable to swishing and swallowing that vile nystatin.

There has been another layoff at work, I can safely expect that I am included, although I haven't been given any official notice. But I understand there is to be a 60 day notice, so that puts me through Christmas. This is good, as my company gives a bonus in December, and I would like to be there to get it, especially if I am soon to be unemployed.

I went to meet my cousin and her children two weekends ago. It was fun. I took my girls too, and it was the first meeting ever of cousins and second cousins (or whatever the relationship is). We are attempting to end the 50 year avoidance of the families to mingle. It wasn't intentional, but it happened. In this circumstance, I started playing in ancestry.com and began a new hobby, perhaps. I have been totally obsessed with linking my relatives and I am even dreaming of linkage, as I once dreamt back in the beginning of the internet and the abiity to click backwards and wherever it takes you. Funny how it affects me with dreams of linkage.

farewell to the mold

2009-10-13T09:01:00.002-05:00

They are replacing my heating and cooling system today. I am home, wishing to be artsy and creative. I look at other people's blogs to try to absorb some of their passion and genius. But mostly I think I lack courage to try.

Words are my forte, however I am not a talented writer either. But I like certain words, phrases, placenames, and I like images. So maybe I will figure out how to do something with those things I like.

half-moon bay is one that presented itself this morning. I love the sound of it. I wish I could convey what I feel when I hear it, what I see in my mind's eye. I will look for an image, but even better, I would love to be able to paint an image.

Casta Diva

2009-10-10T09:03:00.004-05:00

Yes, it is Susanna Phillips day in town and there is a concert and a dinner and everything. I will be participating in the concert, but I have decided to forego the dinner.

I had a good interview last week, but it seems the manager and his superiors were not of the same opinion when it came to what talent the candidate should have. I fear I do not have the proper talents and so I have waited all week to hear nothing. I did get a note last night saying everyone had been away on travel. So maybe. But it is a big maybe.

I have been having estimates done on the ductwork, which I have now decided to expand to the whole system. And I picked someone. The weather is not behaving, though, and I guess I will have to wait a week.

Next Friday Daughter 2 and I will go to Tyson's Corner VA to meet our long lost cousin. Hopefully Daughter 1 will also be there and it will be nice to have a break from the mundane and have some time with my girls.

I have to go to a rehearsal now, and so I will return later.

on the eve of an interview

2009-09-30T21:34:00.003-05:00

Just a note to say I have an 8:30 interview and lovely hair. I do need to remember all the questions I want to ask and all that.

I also applied for a loan to get all the vent and mold stuff done. I haven't yet heard back from them. I hope they approve me, or at least give me a charge card. Something. Otherwise, I don't know how I can get it done.

Anyway, I huried home from the salon in order to get to choir and none of my best friends were there. So I am irritated. I think also I may not go be a servant at the lake this weekend. I am just not in the mood to go anywhere. I want to mow my grass.

I'm a moldy, moldy man, I'm moldy through and through.

2009-09-26T09:23:00.007-05:00

Today I am having my air vents cleaned. They likely have never been cleaned before and so I expect some improvement with my breathing. And some changes to my bank account as well, in the negative.

Whilst the serviceman is doing that, I thought it provided me with a good opportunity to post and catch up on all that has transpired over the past week or so, since last I wrote.

Peggy has come and gone, and I enjoyed her visit for the most part. I like having her here, but I did miss having my house to myself. And my time. But she is always welcome, and we had some crafting expeditions, and she and daughter2 made baklava one night which was interesting and fun. My friend jeffj loved her, said she reminded him of another one of his friends called Brenda.

My other girlfriend, Sbeen I shall call her, and Peggy do not particuarly like one another and so it is also a juggle because of that. D has been otherwise involved lately and so having a guest did not impact plans with him.

I have some concerns about the health of my crawlspace. I really haven't got the funds required to do much, and I hate to use loan money when my future is so unclear. But I have to take care of my investment (house) as well as seeing to my own health which has certainly suffered lately. After the vents get cleaned, I will need to have the mold removed and some vents replaced. But I think I will be able to breathe better for the interim. I just pray I find new employment before I am out of a job.

Well, mold it is, and the guy can't clean my return because it is insulated on the inside. He is figuring up replacement costs, etc, I need to get this fixed, as it is unhealthy and detrimental to my home. I also have a possum or something under there. Time for Cook's to come do their thing. That is why the kitties have been so strange near the vent in the bathroom. Well, at least I know that if I improve the air, it will improve my health. So that is some good news.

I feel weepy now, I think because I really haven't got the wherewithall to afford these major repairs. I think I am going to go cry for a bit. I will return later with the news of how much money this will cost. UPDATE: It will cost about 4000 to fix. I also need some mold removal done, so I need to get an estimate on that too. sigh*

The Moldy Moldy Man

I'm a moldy moldy man
I'm moldy thru and thru
I'm a moldy moldy man
You would not think it true
I'm moldy til my eyeballs
I'm moldy til my toe
I will not dance I shyballs
I'm such a humble Joe.

--- John Lennon

the leaves of brown came tumbling down,

2009-09-19T14:55:00.002-05:00

remember? that September in the rain.

Well, I have been negligent, but busy. I first will state that I didn't get the dream travel job, and I am dissppointed becasue I never even got the second interview. But there will be other jobs, and perhaps this one was a bit more than I would really like, travel-wise.

My friend Peggy is visiting from florida. I think she will be leaving sometime this next week, but she got here a week ago and that is a nice long visit.

Work is still busy. Skeezix the cat has still been sick, just like e, can't seem to get along without being ill. He has been put on prescription food, but at least he seems to like it. And I ordered him a water fountain so he will drink lots of water.

Lots of musical things happening, for me just singing back up for Susanna Phillips whilst she sings something from casta diva. I would rather be watching than singing, but jeffj signed me up so I am stuck.

In a few minutes Peggy and my daughter will return from an art show, then we will go to the craft show at the civic center. I know it will be lame, but some years they have some good ones. Not for several years, though.

Then D is supposed to come over to visit or have supper or something. Likely no one will be hungry at that time. I just had a couple or corndogs. I think the other girls are having something at the art show.

I guessw that is all. I thought I had a lot to say until I got here. Perhaps tomorrow will be more of a chit chat day.

Labor day weekend

2009-09-06T12:11:00.002-05:00

I am enjoying a three day weekend, beginning yesterday with spending the whole day meandering with Sabine. We had a nice time, thrifting, eating visiting. We even went to the library. Today I have mowed some of the yard. It began to rain so I stopped, but I think the rest of the yard doesn't really even need it. So I likely won't finish.

I got a few of the anti-dust mite weapons yesterday, such as an air purifier, masks and a pillow cover. It is dreadful and hot. I think I need to think of other plans, as those anti-allergen fabrics do not breathe, and I must. I didn't sleep well with the purifier on. it was quite loud and I was aware of it and wasn't properly sleeping. So I turned it off around 3 and got a few hours of rest. But not enough, for I am already sleepy again.

I want to sew and do crafty things today. I love doing them, but I have such a problem getting started on them. I bought a pattern yesterday for a black dress to wear in October, maybe October of 2020, ha ha. But there is scrapbooking and painting and all sorts fo things I am wanting to do. I also want to clean up and get my sun room in order. Maybe I need to make a short list.

Last week, I had a phone interview, with an airconditioning manufacturing place, about 40 miles north of here. It wasn't paying enough, but it sure would be great to have a non government job. They took my hours again last week, then gave them back. I wonder what's in store for next week.

Also, I got called by a local subcontractor to work as the pubs person for the chief on an army command. This job would be a dream -- travel, power, influence, very scary. I had a visit with a girl who was doing some of the presentations etc., to see if I could do them. Then I was supposed to see the boss of the company, and then the army person. But she couldn't meet with me, so those two interviews were postponed until later. They didn't say when. But I imagine it will be like that, short notices, last miunute changes in plan. I am not sure I could do that, but it sounds quite exciting. And it occurs to me that I have eliminated excitement from my life in the past few years, probably in an effort to manage the financial part of things, and the previous chaos in my life. There really is nothing stopping me from having such an exciting life, and it would be nice to be an active senior citizen instead of an old woman.

I also had an interview with another small woman-owned company for the head of publications. It was going to involve lots of proposal work, but it wounded okay. I thought she liked me, but I haven't been contacted again yet. I am not sure how long things take. So maybe I shouldn't worry too soon.

Well, I think I will try to get busy with something productive, be it housework or crafting. Or maybe even a nap.

a day for me

2009-08-30T12:21:00.003-05:00

Ah, bliss! Nothing particular to do today. I was going to mow, but it really doesn't need it. I think I would much rather have the day to do whatever I feel would be interesting and fun.

My kitty is home from the vet, on the mend, I think. He had a distended bladder, but so far he has been able to pee unassisted. I wouldn't know how to assist him, but I was told to monitor this. He has medicine, and is being very good about taking it.

I have been getting used to my new regimen. I forget bits and parts of it, there are so many things to remember to do. Excuse me while I go measure my air flow. Okay, all done. I think it will be impossible to really rid my house of dust mites and cat dander. But I can certainly get an air filter for my bedroom, change the furnace filter regularly, vacuum more often and wear a mask if I am doing really dusty things. Many be I can get some covers for my mattress and pillows. The mites are the most revolting things for me. And I am having the air vents cleaned and the mold issue assessed next week. I think mainly I was overcome by all these allergens whilst being in a weakened state due to sinus and lung infection.

Last night was a concert for the chamber chorale and the chamber winds. It was pretty good, rather fun. We went to JN's house afterwards to have cake for his birthday. It was a small group, but it was pleasant chit chat.

I have two interviews this week and an additional phone interview with a place in Fayetteville TN. That would likely be inconvenient, but I don't think they will be paying anything close to what I want in salary. Anyway, I am trying to get psyched up for them, and I have a hair appointment Tuesday morning.

I have been reading a book by Charles Kuralt from CBS, the man who drove around in a winnebago shooting interesting and unusual bits of news. It is pretty interesting. In the mean time I have amassed some more potter criticism books and I am looking forward to getting into them. There is a strong theme of alchemic lore in the Potter books, and many of the references they cite are things I have read before, either during the Templar binge of a few years ago, or the more recent infatuation with Joseph Smith. Once in a while,the various interests I have, usually quite disparate from one another, sort of connect into a whole. I love those times. I do wish I could express them better, but the main example of such a time was in college when all the bits of literature, history and art all emerged into one. I was aware for the first time of the whole picture of civilization, everything made sense. A moment of clarity. An epiphany. The most I can find to say at such a moment is "Wow. How cool!"

Now I am tired of typing and its time to do something with my day. So I shall find a nice picture and stop.

sick chix here

2009-08-26T06:43:00.002-05:00

Well, I had all my tests yesterday and it seems that I have numerous allergies, in addition to chronic sinusitus and moderate asthma. I need to get rid of mold and divest my household of dust mites and other allergens. I have to measure and log my outgoing breath twice daily as part of maintenance and it will be a whole new regimen for me. I daresay it will take a few days to get myself adjusted.

In other news, my beautiful kitty has a urinary tract infection and he is miserable. I have to take him to the vet to stay for the day as I can't look out for him whilst I am at work.

So life just keeps on keeping on. Never a chance to get bored or take a rest. I just long for a good nap, a day of total rest and nothing else. This week I have stuff to do every evening except Friday. Free again Sunday. no church, no commitments. Just chores and what I want to do.

I have to take my pet. Toodles

August 10 2009

2009-08-10T20:07:00.007-05:00

I have come home from an early chamber chorale rehearsal. I am so glad to be here and not there in the chorus. I think mostly it is that I am so bloody hot with the hormones and then steroids on top. I feel like a greasy slime most of the time.

At work I got another month of work, but it means I have to learn some new stuff. Just between you and me, it is unappealling, I guess because it won't make a difference and now that I like to spend my working hours applying for jobs at other places, it is really cramping my style. But the girl who was doing it went to another assignment, and I am rather relieved. Both for the extra hours and for her being gone. She was one of those types that I never get used to, very superficial and snooty, rich, conceited and not very friendly.

This coming weekend, the choir is having a variety show to fund raise and I am in charge of the food. We will be getting 20-odd homemade cakes and pies, all to be cut into equal servings and arranged attractively on little plastic "crystal" plates. I also need to arrange for the drinks. I know I can do this, but I keep envisioning being blighted by the heat and I will be too sweaty to make an appearance in the hall. Quite unappetizing, methinks.

There is a blog I read written by a very talented lady who makes poetry, jewelery and takes excellent pix. She was contacted by one of her readers and they began renewing their acquaintance. Now they are in love. It is a lovely story, makes me happy and sad at the same time. I do wish I were more poetic. I really have no gift for writing, other than in an editorial manner, or using correct grammar. I haven't got that artistic aspect. I wish I had it.

I have been feeling sort of disinterested in things lately. I guess it is a mix of feeling bad from the pnuemonia or whatever it is, and knowing I am soon out of a job. Maybe I am keeping depression at bay just barely.

Even though I am feeling this way, others have been distant too, this summer. I suppose it is a busy summer, and again, I haven't been involved because I felt bad. But I miss everyone, and sitting out of chorus is making it worse. Even though I don't want to be there, I at least want to see my friends. But no one is going out afterwards.

freaky friday

2009-07-31T20:40:00.002-05:00

I went to the Pulmonoligist and he is going to do some tests. He wasn't certain that it was an infection, rather asthma/sinus related. Tests will be a cat scan, then a breathing test and some allergy testing.

But I am relieved as he said he did not even think about cancer (which my mom died of, lung cancer) so that was a tremendous relief.

Other news is that Boeing put a stop work order so Monday I may not be working. A four day weekend is not a bad thing.

Last night one of daughter #2 's friends came with her for supper and put one of my bookcases together. YAY!! Now I can unload some boxes of books into it and start putting that room in order.

I don't feel very talkative tonight, so I will just leave it at this. Maybe later I will have something interesting to talk about.

toodles

musical mystery tour

2009-07-22T23:19:00.006-05:00

I have been thinking of how best to do it, to make record of my favorite all time songs and why, or what was going on, or how I felt or something. Especially since I lived though the summer of love and all that.

Sometimes, like tonight, I feel moved to jump in there, and start with whatever is on my mind, but then I want to describe each and every moment and song in the correct order. And I don't think I have as good a memory as I think I do. I get things out of order.

But let me list the Pandora playlist that I got tonight after typing in Peter and Gordon. First it gave me some real strange singers that didn't sound like P&G at all. So then I put in Chad and Jeremy.

Willow Weep for Me
Groovy Kind of Love
Ferry Cross the Mersey
Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Daughter
September in the Rain
Can't get Over Losing You
Here Comes the Sun
This Magic Moment
Can't You Hear My Heart Beat
I Wannna Hold Your Hand
Everyone's Gone to the Moon
True Love Ways
Crying
The Air That I Breathe
How Do You Do What You Do
It was a Very Good Year
A World Without Love
Jennifer Juniper
Tired of Waiting For You
She Loves You
My Darling Be Home Soon
Monday, Monday
The Dangling Conversation
Ticket to Ride
Wear Your Love Like Heaven
I'll Have to Say I Love You in a Song

and the hits just keep on coming!!

every one of those songs hold significant meaning for me. Oh where to start?

How about the Lovin' Spoonful?

Come and talk of all the things we did today
Hear and laugh about our funny little ways
While we have a few minutes to breathe
And I know that it's time you must leave

But darling be home soon
I couldn't bear to wait an extra minute if you dawdle
My darling be home soon
It's not just these few hours
But I've been waiting since I've toddled
For the great relief of having you to talk to

And now a quarter of my life is almost passed
I think I've come to see myself at last
And I see that the time spent confused
Is the time that I spent without you
And I feel myself in bloom

Darling be home soon
I couldn't bear to wait an extra minute if you dawdle
My darling be home soon
It's not just these few hours
But I've been waiting since I've toddled
For the great relief of having you to talk to

So darling, my darling, be home soon
I couldn't bear to wait an extra minute if you dawdle
My darling, be home soon
It's not just these few hours
But I've been waiting since I've toddled
For the great relief of having you to talk to

So go and beat your crazy head against the sky
Try and see beyond the houses in your eyes
It's okay to shoot the moon

Darling be home soon
I couldn't bear to wait an extra minute if you dawdle
My darling be home soon
It's not just these few hours
But I've been waiting since I've toddled
For the great relief of having you to talk to.

Wednesday is drizzly

2009-07-22T08:09:00.004-05:00

This suits me. I have an interview today. It is a temp-to permanent job, Military tech writing. Sounds dreadful, but it pays. At the last nimute yesterday, my boss asked me if I had to commit to this job today, as though he has something working for me. He said there were some possibilities. Funny, he had none before. But he gave me some useful info about asking for the type of contract, saying that cost plus would be one to avoid. And that might make me look brighter than I feel.

I have a headache, I think its the weather, I need to get gussied up and out to the temp agency. I will report on this tonight. Or tomorrow morning.

whilst my hair dries

2009-07-20T06:50:00.004-05:00

I haven't posted lately. There has finally been a layoff notice given. I was one of the the lucky winners, pretty much as I expected. I have employment through mid September. I was one of 4 from our company. Such a esteemed group of castoffs.

I know it was unavoidable and I have to admit I can see why me and not someone else, but it never feels good to be excluded or singled out as someone they could happiliy do without. This has happened to me, this makes 5 times total now. I think that is enough for one person to have to suffer.

I have been applying for other things. It's just that no one has called. Well one did, and it was a good job, but only 15 months. First I said no, but then I thought, it's no different than what I was suffering though now, so why not. So I called back the next day and said as much, and she was going to send my resume in, but by that time, two had been interviewed and one was selected. Oh well.

I still have the pneumonia. The doctor referred me to a pulmonary doctor. I am sort of scared, but I want to be rid of the coughing and congestion and I want to feel better. I have been so drained.

Harry Potter has come and I have seen it. It left alot out, but I think it captured the essence pretty well. I think what I usually object to is that the book has the indepth info I want to see acted out. every little bit. they should have made a mini series. something. I want more. I want more but not the end.

Daughter 2 is preparing to move from an old icky house to a small one bedroom more modern apartment. it is an old apartment, but has been well kept and at least she will have non dripping faucets and drawers that pull out properly. I bought her some new pots and pans, glasses, sheets, shower curtain and half a mattress. All for her birthday which is next month.

I mowed finally after a month and a half reprieve. The back was brutal, as I think I hadn't mown that for well over 2 months. I nearly killed it last time, as I cut it short, then the heat killed all the grass, so now we have had a bit of rain, and the weeds have greened up some, so the yard looks tidy again, and this cheers me. I enjoy the mowing. and the other yard chores too, when I am up for it. Hard with this difficulty breathing.

well, tis time for breakfast. Let's see what picture appeals today.

Cecil Jr., 1920-1995 (or so)

2009-07-08T18:16:00.005-05:00

Happy birthday dear Daddio. I miss you!

Wednesday is usually reserved for choir practice, but its summertime and I am enjoying the break. Tonight, however, I might have a visit from my Jr and high school friend, linapina. Her sis in law is in the chamber chorale too, which is interesting, and I think it would be fun to revisit this old friendship.

There were no new jobs on the govt website today, but it doesn't preclude me from uploading resumes and being ready. I am interested in a job at the local library, but my salary would be slashed in half, and I don't think I can do that. I need to find out what benefits they have and then do some figuring. If I could do it at all, I would love to make such a huge change. the library suits me. Yes, I love books and the idea of reading them all, having them available.

I had a plumber come check out the standing water under my house and it turned out to be the air conditioning. I need a moisture barrier and a dehumidifier. Sounds like money to me. lots. I am having a spigot put on the back yard shut off, probably could live without it, but I was thinking that an improvement made to the house during a month in which no payment is due is a sensible thing. I also felt like since he crawled under my nasty crawlspace, I think his company deserves my business. I do wish it had been a small plumbing leak rather than what it is. Lots of money involved in cleaning and fixing up crawlspaces.

I like gnomes, hence today's picture.

Tuesday's dead

2009-07-06T21:39:00.002-05:00

Post Chamber Chorale and I am winding down. I am very tired throat-wise, and I hope that it isn't anything new or a relapse to the pneumonia. I am weary of illness. Poor daughter 2 is down with something that feels like the flu. Perhaps she should go get a test for the swine flu. I hope not. That would suck. She is about to move households.

I finished the Refiner's Fire and am digesting it. It was a bit too elevated for me at this time. I agree that Jos. Smith believed in folk magic, but I am notsure how alchemy figures in. Anyway it matters not. I am on to reading a John Jakes called the Homeland or somesuch

About a brewer and his nephew. I am not sure about how I feel about John Jakes vehicles. They do have a little formula, every one.

I have the rest of the month left at work. Funny how non-plussed I feel. I guess the stress just sort of wears you down to a point where you don't feel it much. I have several jobs to apply for, but my resumes need work, and I want to make them better first. I am just tired.

Otherwise, life goes on.

Back to Square One

2009-06-28T21:05:00.003-05:00

I returned to the Doctor today, as I am still feeling just as bad as I had been 2 months ago. I am back to that same point,not sure how or why I didn't improve, but this time I have steroids to help. I have never had them other than the big burning shot they give once in a while. I got one of those again, plus an antibiotic shot. So tomorrow I start the pills. I also need to remember to use the inhaler, as it will help me get better.

It was hot, and I didn't do any yard work other than watering the herbs and hydrangea. I didn't even let the kitties out much. too hot. But I did a few house chores like ironing, cooking, groceries, some wash and I also took a long nap.

I started watching the Camomile Lawn series. I saw three and there are three more. Then I noticed Carnivale on HBO It looked interesting so I orderd that to follow on the camomile lawn.

Tuesday is my birthday. My cousin sent me money to go out to dinner. It was sweet of her, I guess after no contact all our lives, we will have a relationship. I think it will be good, as we are about the same age.

I got a photo of a friend (as a child) enlarged and xeroxed to use in a project. I think I might start on it soon. It takes me a while to get worked up enough to start such a project. But I think I have a good idea of what it should look like.

No nibble on a new job, but I did get news again that it will last through September. I got a book to help me create the right resume with the proper action keywords etc. maybe that will help. And daughter 1 said for me to sign up with linkdin. hee hee I just deactivated facebook because it seems stupid to me. I was not interested in the little games and quizzes.

In other news, I had my air conditioner fixed, cleaned, really. 400 dollars. I had to get a new computer. another 300. I have standing water under my house, could be expensive. getting a plumber out here next week. the doctor was 450, with all the tests, and the rx were 250. I am getting my house refinanced, and I am hoping to get a bit extra for some repairs. but in anycase, I won't have a house payment for a month and can put the money away to help if I am unemployed.

so thats enough, for now. Let me go find a picture. How about young Snape

Midsummer, I think

2009-06-20T21:47:00.002-05:00

So much time has past since I last wrote. I was in the middle of having pneumonia, which I still have, by the way. They said it would take a while, but I still feel sick, too much I think than it was expected.

My computer is fried and I am borrowing. I can't read blogs or anything at work anymore, so I have been doing without computer at home for about 2 weeks. I am glad my brother had one to lend. It is a notebook too. I wanted to try it before getting one, and I am glad,as it is too small and squinched up.

My sister went into hospital for the removal of a colon tumor. That went fine, but she had kidney failure and nearly didn't make it. They started her dialysis in the emergency, and it really has helped her to feel better. She is home now, and recovering nicely.

I think my job is okay until the end of September. I have been diligently checking jobsites and applying, although none of the companies say anything when you apply. If you are lucky they acknowledge your application, but that has only been happening 1/4 of the time. I ave applied for tech writers and configuration management analyst. Maybe a system analyst if it seemed non technical. I have decided that I will probably take any job I am offered. I don't expect to get many offers, I would be happy to get a bleeding interview.

I think that is enough for now. More later.

my how the time flies

2009-05-25T20:46:00.002-05:00

Well, I have been home for the past 7 days with pneumonia. It is the walking variety, so not seriously bedridden, but I certainly have felt better. I thought it was my chronic sinus problem, maybe turned infected, but my lungs were thoroughly congested.

I am getting better, I guess, I have periods of feeling pretty good, then I get tired. I understand it is to be like this for a month or so. What a drag. Lots of naps. And coughing. and coughing.

I wasn't able to walk in the 5K marathon thing today. Part of me was glad, as I didn't feel like it, but part of me was disappointed. Well, there are other races I suppose.

I haven't thought about anything particularly interesting. I had a week of reading about Brigham Young's wives. Now I am done for awhile. Nothing else has come to take the place though, I would love some new passion to come along so I can dive in.

I saw Angels and Demons this weekend. It was pretty good, very suspenseful. I would like to re read it, but I don't know where it is. Soon, it will be time for Harry Potter, and I really can't wait for that.

Well tomorrow it is back to work, so I shall stop for now. I actually feel like going to bed. SO I might just do that.

rearranging the furniture

2009-05-13T07:44:00.002-05:00

It seems so neglectful when one doesn't update their blog regularly. I just haven't found a good time now that I am not able to do it whilst at work. When I get home, there are chores and other things happening. Oh well, at least the place will looked lived in.

All the concert commitments are over, except for the choir, and that concert is May 31. What is hard about participating in this concert is that she is having 2 rehearsals per week, Tuesday and Wednesday, we are expected to attend them both. Then, to add insult to injury, the music selected for the concert is absolutely not my cup of tea. We are doing some music that I do not understand nor do I want to. I keep hoping I will start loving it, as I often do when I was first put off, but this time, I think I am just going to have to admit that I hate the music selected.

One is Britten's Rejoice in the Lamb, then Tavener's, The Lamb. Then two by some guy named Part with an umlaut so it sounds like pairt. Then a Craig Phillips that I didn't like back in the day, and a repeat of the Webster we did at Easter, which wasn't my favorite anyway, although it grew on me some. Too many modern sounds. Nothing to grab hold of, in my estimation. I need some nice melodic themes to cling to, to help me navigate the notes. There is dissonance and strangeness. If there were a way to get out of it, I would, but there isn't. sigh*

This weekend is Dining with Friends, that will be interesting. I also must mow, after all the rain, I haven't been able to coordinate dry yard with free time. Mary and I did manage to get into the garage to organize and sort out so she could store some boxes in there until she moved, That was good, and I am all excited to erect some bookcases in the sunroom and empty out a zillion boxes of books now stored in the garage.

I am moving cubes at work, a day of waiting around today, I would prefer to sleep. I haven't been good walking this week. I have started considering the No S diet, no snax, no seconds and no sweets. I have done well, for about a week, we shall see when I weigh Thursday at WW. Snacks and sweets are my downfall.

Gotta get to work. More another time.

race among the ruins

2009-04-28T22:18:00.005-05:00

Don't you just love Gordon Lightfoot? I think he is supposed to perform here. I have already seen him and it hurts me to see him looking so old. He looked old ten years ago. But I understand he still has his voice, albeit it is not what it once was.

I first paid attention to Lightfoot when I was first married. I had heard the If You Could Read My Mind when I was in high school. I loved that. But I heard several of his albums when my ex and I went to visit his cousin and wife up in Saratoga NY. I loved him! Gordon, that is. Then later, we met a woman from the ex's work and her favorite Christmas gift to give one year was Gord's Gold. I was hooked. I admit, I never got involved with his later things, like a painter passing through and on through today, but everything else, including the first music when he was a very young man. I love the sound of his voice, and the lyrics.

Sometime I would love to list all my favorite songs, in chronological order, and list something personal about myself at the time. I imagine there would be a zillion songs on that list, I am not sure it could be done. But I could at least make myself some CDs in the same/similar fashion. Or I could collect a youtube video of them as well.

For some reason, I want someone to know exactly which songs turn my crank. My children know some, and my ex husband of course. My sister knows many of them, but it needs to be comprehensive over my entire life. It needs to be documented for posterity. I find it very interesting to know what a person likes in terms of popular music. Not just fond or, but what they adore. I need to think up a way to do this. I guess its about as boring to another as it is when someone whips out their grandchildren's photo album.

Friday, praise be!

2009-04-24T07:30:00.002-05:00

This week has been long. Not horrible, but very long. I finally was granted privileges to properly manage my data files and I have been busy cleaning things up and organizing my documents. I sure hope my job lasts. I think I have identified a need for what I do, which is editing and managing a large body of documentation. Processes and procedures, they are needed, so hopefully, so will I be. Everyone is anxious about layoffs, which are very possible, and I need to turn my attentions to improving my chances of employment. So on my list of things to do is calling the local community college and enrolling in some Microsoft Expert certification course in Word and powerpoint, at least. Possibly others, but first things first.

My eldest daughter and her hubby will be visiting for this weekend. She doesn't know anything about my recent home improvement activities and I am excited to see her reaction. I am very interested in continuing, the next step being filling in an unused door and repainting the room a little lighter. Also I need the roman shades, I was hoping to make, but those will come with time. I also want to stick some bookcases in there, and unpack my zillion books. Then I will have room in the garage to clean it up and perhaps ready it for rental, should that be a possibility.

Easter is done, singing is lighter now, although I am helping Billy out for his church's anniversary concert. And my choir has one too, at the end of May. But in other news, I have not been pleased with my lack of commitment to the weight watchers program, and so I have challenged myself to train for and finish a local 5K walk/run. I am in my first week of real training. I won't have the entire 8 weeks, but I will be ready enough to walk the course and finish. Now if I could rid myself of the sugar addiction, all would be wonderful.

So I am stopping now, and leaving a bit early today, so I need to get moving and prepare for work. I want to leave a bit early tonight so I will have some time to see the kids. I do need a picture, methinks. But that has to wait.

what my tax dollars bought

2009-04-14T20:16:00.003-05:00

I tiled my sunroom and got some wannabe wicker to go in it. See photo. I am going to get some different cushions and maybe lose the table, but it looks pretty good, sits well, didn't cost too much and I think it will do just fine.

I usually wind up frittering my tax money away, never knowing exactly what I blew it on. This year, though, for the first time, I actually put it towards something. So I have something tangible. And I still have some money to stash in the bank.

Easter has come and gone, and I am having a bit of a singing break. I have agreed to sing for another church on a special anniversary concert. And my choir has a Spring concert, but I get a little break and this pleases me.

I suppose I could yab on and on about something, but I am not feeling it tonight. Funny how I have been thinking I need to blog, but now that I get here, I am not in the mood. So I won't torture myself, as that isn't the point of it at all.

I want to start doing some crafty things, such as sewing roman shades for the sunroom and painting some masterpieces. But there is always tomorrow.

A nice little video

2009-03-31T09:54:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Simon&Garfunkle and

feythdemacedo

Through the Eyes of a Child

2009-03-28T16:40:00.004-05:00

Well, tonight is concert night at Trinity Methodist. It is a lovely church, a nice gothic-looking stone thing with warm wood inside. It used to be a 60's contemporary monstrosity at the end of my street. Now it is at the end of my little brother's street, as he is living in the family homestead now.

I have so many memories of the church and its grounds, and the little shopping center they built next door. Today I parked in the center parking lot, and had to climb over a small wall just as in days of old. I like that is still there, just as it was. I will never forget how exciting it was when the little place was built. It had a drug store with a soda fountain. We would have cokes and play the juke box. I was a tag along, probably 9 or 10, but I loved hanging out with my older sister and the girl two doors down who was right in between us in age. We shared. She was a huge Beatles fan and really all the British invasion. And an only child so she got everything. We lived vicariously through her.

Roller skating was what we did often, and we would skate on the sidewalks between all the church buildings. They were smooth and nice for skating, and had the seams between each slab of concrete that made that clicking when your wheels rolled over; sort of like divit, divit, divit. These sidewalks came in at all angles and met in a central courtyard where fancy turns could be done. We wore metal skates that screwed onto our shoes and we tightened them with a key worn around our neck on a string.

There was also a small playground that is no longer there. It had two rows of good swings, some monkey bars and a small shiny silver slide. Those swings witnessed all manner of discussions, I know we would sit on them and talk about boys, or the Beatles, or whatever. When we were tired of skating or swinging, we could climb over the little wall and go have a coke, or maybe down to baskin-robbins for a sample and a bag full of cracked sugar cones. What a treat. Walking home, we might rest on the grassy banks that surrounded the church parking lot. There was a little shade from some crepe myrtles. We could lie back and look at the clouds, just laze away those long days. Then the walk home, not quite a block.

I sort of feel melancholy, nostalgic really, when I go to the little shopping center or the church these days. I know there are others who remember the old times, but my particular memories are so poignant. I want to tell other people about them, much like an old man might long to tell a story from his past youth. It just sort of rises up inside like a big achy throb, brings tears to the eyes, and you want someone to remember with you, to confirm it all.

I know this sounds like memory lane, but for some reason, the juncture of the shopping center parking lot with the little wall into the church parking lot, has just stayed with me. It is in dreams sometimes. Why, I can't say. But it seems to mean something, I just don't know what.

Well, anyhow, I need to get ready for the big evening. Afterward we are dining at Bonefish. I will enjoy being through with chorus for awhile. I have to admit that with Chris out, and Joe not being there, I haven't liked it much at all this spring.

In other exciting news, I bought tile for my sun room. More later!

Doing stuff that needs doing

2009-03-23T21:25:00.003-05:00

That is what I have been up to. I am a procrastinator, sometimes out of sloth, sometimes out of forgetfulness and sometimes out of avoidance. I don't like math-related things. NO electronic gadgets for me either. I mainly avoid exercise.

But I have done many things that needed doing, like buying a lawnmower and cutting the grass, then weedeating; planting some posies on my porch; finding a storm door; washing a bunch of clothes; finding all my tax stuff and taking it to an accountant. I have done all these things this weekend, and in addition, I actually got to work at 8 am rather than 9 or 930. I can't install the storm door, but I did call my brother and told him that it was waiting for him.

Now, I feel like I have gotten a few things accomplished. There are lots more, but I know I can get them all done, with perseverance and planning. Oh yes, and not procrastinating.

Big Love is all over but the waiting until next season. I wish it could just go on and on. I was reading a book about the role of alchemy and occult/esoteric knowledge in America prior to and during Jos. Smith. I am thick, I guess, as it isn't clicking. Perhaps it is too advanced for my pea brain. But I think I need to put it aside. But I still want to read Mormon stuff.

There is just this week before we have our spring concert for chorus, then Easter, then Billy's Requiem, then Nativity's concert. then I can stop for a while. I also don't like the sound of the fall concert for the chorus. It is called "He said, She said" and it sounds like I have to sing alto. So I think I will take a break.

I am not as chatty as blogging requires so I will postpone my discourse until another day.

Dreaming of death

2009-03-11T21:58:00.003-05:00

I dreamed that my sister and brother were part of a group of psycho killers. My cats were also involved, somehow, and Pee Wee Herman. I was in bed under the covers, thinking that I could hide in plain sight. They found me. I kept talking them out of killing me. But the real breakthrough came in talking Pee Wee out of ganging up with them. Then I dreamed that this married man I like very much had an accident and was in the hospital. I came to visit him and I tried to hug him and he kept holding me close to him and wouldn't let me get away. I think he kissed me too, but I was afraid his wife would come in. I kept telling him that I wanted to explain my feelings for him, and he kept trying to keep me held down near him as he was lying in the hospital bed. It was one of those dreams that stayed on my mind all day.

Tonight in choir, he walked in (he often sings with us for special concerts etc,) I wasn't expecting him. Thinking back on my countenance, I imagine I looked like a cat who got the canary. I was so very pleased to see him. Funny how when you are close to someone in a dream, it feels like it in real life too. Like I could have played in his hair, or leaned in and kissed him or anything, and it would have been the most normal thing to do. hee hee. I wonder what he would do if I did such!

Anyhow, now I am home and he is off to his house and I don't want to stop thinking about it. I know it's a hopeless and dead end situation, but it makes my often boring life sort of interesting. Every other man I know is gay or married. The movie stars I used to be able to think about just aren't cutting it anymore. I need some new fantasy fodder. I have to leave these married ones alone. And I need to be realistic too. Anyhow, it is good impetus for staying focused on my weight watchers and walking etc.,

I finished reading the book by Jos. Smith's mother, and am ready to start the Refiner's Fire. I really don't want to look at that one yet. I want to watch Big Love. The plot has really thickened and I can hardly wait for the next two episodes. I don't know if they will do it again next year, but I sure hope so.

I guess I will go find a picture now and call it a night. Get some sleep. Maybe I will have some more of the hospital bed dream. Minus Pee Wee.

Dancing on the moon

2009-03-02T10:01:00.007-06:00

I had started thinking I was mis-remembering this song. A mondegreen, you know. My sister and I used to dance around singing this.

I guess it was for real. Nice not to be dottering yet. We lived on the level part between two hills and there was a street light shining right on the intersection. We would waltz around out there, singing Dancing on the moon.

The Nelson Mass was wonderful! I think we sang better than usual. Some of the tenors had a last minute practice on the Credo. It showed too, we rocked. Carlos is so inspiring and makes the singing such a joy. Other than dancing on the moon, I can't get the music out of my head.

I am not too thrilled about the Rutter Mass for children that we go back to singing in regular community chorus tonight.

the staying power of cat piss

2009-02-28T10:08:00.002-06:00

I do believe it is worse than a skunk. Well, at least you can tell where the skunk was, but cat pee is deceptive. I woke in the night as usual, but I recall detecting the odor in my haziness. It must have happened in the night. I explained it away as part of my dream, until I had the realization that it was near me. After getting up, I have been sniffing around like some sort of animal checking out its territory. I am washing everything in sight -- bedding, all clothes not hung up, afghans, throw pillows. I have been on my hands and knees, sniffing around. I can't find the location of this horrible smell. I am beginning to wonder if perhaps one of the kitties peed down into the floor vents.

I noticed that wherever I was, I smelled it. so then I wondered if they peed on me? both my cats are fixed, but the male is somewhat jealous of the younger female. Not always, but if I am petting him and SHE comes around, well, he will skulk off. So I figure it is him. However, they both vie for my hip in the morning, where they like to sit on me until I get up. Maybe it is on me. So I have put that garment into the washer, but no, the smell still lingers in every room.

Today was to be a nice quiet day, the day of an exciting symphony and chorus concert that I have been preparing for, Haydn's Mass in some kind of key, otherwise known as the Lord Nelson. It is going to rock! I wish everyone were going to come hear it, it shall be quite a treat.

But as I was saying, today was going to be for puttering around, doing artsy things, baking something maybe, a little laundry (but not the entire house hold) a nap, mayhaps. But my day. not a day for obliterating cat pee. I have to find it, lest it is on my chorus dress, or underwear, who hows where it lurks. I just can't abide such a smell, the only think I can't abide more would be sour laundry. Both of these seem like housekeeping issues, and not natural disasters, such as a skunk. I have made my cat mad, (bad owner) and he has repaid me. My penance is in finding and eliminating the source.

Has anyone wondered about how much like cat pee boxwood shrubs smell? This must be the reason for their long life. No aphids want to suck the sap out of something that reeks of cat pee!

I guess I had better get to the store for some upholstery cleaner and more laundry detergent. sigh* It is going to be a long day.

Shrove Tuesday is upon us

2009-02-23T09:18:00.002-06:00

It is Monday and I am taking a sick day, although I am not sick. I just want to get some things done that I was not able to get to this weekend. So here I am avoiding. Truly, I intend to get the tax stuff together and possibly file it, if I am able to with all the new house deductions etc., I am afraid it will be rather confusing to me. But in any case, the first step is to get all the stuff together.

I had a pretty good weekend, there was an evensong last night, and Big Love. Saturday I shopped with Mary and then I cooked supper for D. We watched Bucket List. It was cute. There isn't much one can do on an evensong day except be at church. And this Wednesday is Ash Wednesday, which means the beginning of learning the Easter music.

Next weekend, we will once again perform with Maestro Carlos Prieto and the Huntsville Symphony Orchestra. We will be doing the Lord Nelson Mass. The performances with the symphony are quite exciting. Carols is very inspiring.

I got a lovely little pendant from my mermaid friend, Carmen. Thank you my dear! It was such a nice surprise coming in the mail, a package of beautiful things from a beautiful person. I, in return, have been making something special to send back, and it just happens to be miss mermaid's birthday, so I think I will try to get it mailed soon. Thank you Carmen, it means so much to have made a blog friend, and one who likes to dance and sing. You are an inspiration! Keep doing your mermaid dance. Happy birthday!

With Lent here, one turns a thought towards making some sort of improvement, or banishing some unhealthy habit, or characteristic. I think this year I will try to think of things in a positive manner, rather than grumbling and feeling out of sorts. I know this is tiresome to those around me, and it takes more effort for me to shake off the mood than if I turned it into a good thought or impulse. I remind myself of Pollyanna playing the Glad Game. Silly, but astute.

jeffj wants me to assist him in making patchwork quilts out of his old shirts for his nephews so they can "wrap themselves up in his love" for them. Is that not a sweet idea? How could I possibly say no? What a joy he is in my life. We are planning a trip to Seattle later this spring. I think it will be tremendous fun, as we both grew up there and we are also going to visit the Olympic peninsula and see the Hoh rain forest. It will be fun.

Well, I think I will go locate my tax stuff and get that chore finished. If I get done with the must-do things, I might have time for something fun today.

toodles!

looking for brass flies

2009-02-12T20:40:00.005-06:00

This week has been very busy at work. I have not had much time to do anything but work, but I sort of like it that way. But I did take a little time to search the internet for brass flies. I only found one, and it was too big. I need to learn some new methods of searching. I think there must be numerous better ways than I go about it.

I am painfully aware that my blog sux lately. It doesn't really matter anyway because very few people read it. I have to chuckle to myself, when I post something very off the wall as I assume Joseph Smith is, no one makes a peep. I guess they must wonder what I'm thinking. Even blogs that tell about someone's day are more interesting than mine. Perhaps its my style. I don't know. Likely its my topics.

Wintertime leaves me sort of devoid of fire or excitement. I don't have any passions at the mo', I haven't got a crush on anyone, no one is fun to look at or think about. I am not stagnant in my thoughts, but maybe I am lack-lustre. I am not real comfortable with the vanilla day to day existence, but it is what it is, I guess.

I have been thinking about getting more education, but after looking into it a little, I realize I don't need book learning as much as I need technical, hands-on training in something that will help me stay employed. I am now thinking about getting Microsoft-certified. I think my company pays for it, and I feel certain it would help me a lot more than a degree in library science. Besides, I cannot use the Library of Congress classification system with a clear conscience. I would get angry everytime I had to shelve a book. Too much stress for me. Besides, I just don't get it. Give me the old Dewey decimal system any day. Not really, but my favorite area to shelve would be fiction. Alphabetical. Now that makes sense to me.

I haven't done the taxes yet, and I must, so I can know what sort of house repairs I can afford to have done. I want to get the sunroom fixed up some, it needs a floor of some sort, and also something to sit on. I need screens for the windows, there is work to be done on the garage apartment, I want more electrical outlets, some outside lighting, and some gutter repair. I also wish I could have a portico under which I could stash my car so it wouldn't be out in the weather as much. I wonder how much of this list I could get done with my tax return. ;-)

We are almost ready to sing Lord Nelson Mass with the symphony. It will be a thrill, of sorts. At the least, it will be inspiring. There is also an evensong this month. yawn. then next month is a choir retreat. But my heart isn't in it. It is just another over scheduled weekend, where I don't get anything accomplished at home and return to work feeling cheated of my free time. Then lent, then easter, then Billy's requiem, then choir concert. Then its the summer and I get to fret about having a job again.

I am trying to get with the times. I joined facebook and registered with my highschool. I got to say hello to a handful of my friends from back then. But after you tell what you have been doing, then it is dull again. I don't really want to be friends with these people, it is just interesting to see how they turned out. Some people really get into it. They meet up for drinks and everything. How icky is that? I guess I am just not a party girl anymore. All there is to talk about with these people is old stuff that isn't pertinent anymore. They don't translate well to my current life. I wonder if its just me.

Then some people are crazy about twitter. I am still thinking about that technology. I am not sure why anyone would care what I was doing every day or every hour of the day. They certainly don't beat a path to my blog do they (just kidding, all you lovely readers out there). Anyhow, I noticed there is a similar feature on facebook. Marthaberry is . . .

Now, what would I be doing if I were logged into facebook, anyway. I would be online, trying to see who was there. Marthaberry is bored and looking for action. Marthaberry is boring and wants to bore others. Marthaberry is seriously considering what twitter is and why she might need to open an account. hmm, more places to kill time. I already have an online routine.

I sit down, play a couple of games of spider solitaire. I open my email and answer/trash/forward any emails I have gotten. Then I open the browser and check out a chat-forum place where we gather to discuss the wonders of Tom Baker, the 4th Doctor. But we have been there talking for so long, that it is not very interesting anymore. And when newbies get on there, they drive me crazy, saying all the things I once did, and oohing and ahhing about this or that picture of Tom, on and on.
But I check the new messages, and lately I mark them as read without reading them. Next up, I go look at Cakewrecks. If I am too early for the new entry, I go on to the blogs of some friends, and to vintage Seattle, where I can be nostalgic with other seattleites. Then I look at other personal favorites, Then I look here to see if anyone visited. Then I search for something, maybe tidbits on Joseph Smith, maybe brass flies, maybe I will look for a childhood treat that I long to re experience. I might check the news, might not. But that is how my day starts. Why? because its there. It is mildly interesting. It gives me something to think about for a few minutes. It kills time.

I really don't want to kill time, I haven't got enough of it as it is. sigh*

Another Sunday night

2009-02-08T19:30:00.004-06:00

I have finished reading a biography of Joseph Smith of the Book of Mormon fame. It was the one by Fawn Brodie, very scholarly, and she came at it with a view of his psychological make up as much as anything else. I found her manner tasteful, as she spoke about him exactly as she saw him, and was not at all derogatory, just matter of fact. She grew up Mormon too, so she had some understanding of the subject. He was certainly a character, if nothing else. This is an example of when Joseph Smith started getting sort of meglomanaical. He was Lieutenant colonel or something. And after that, he had his apostles proclaim him King of the Kingdom of God. Delusions of grandeur, methinks.

My interest in all this Joseph Smith reading was started when I became a viewer of Big Love, the HBO series of a man living in suburbia with three wives. The topic has always interested me, not polygamy per se, but the mormon pioneers and the settling of the west. Anyhow, there are more books in the stack to be read, and I intend to read them all. I sort of wish that I could live as a latter day saint for a week or so, to get a feeling for what it was like. I do imagine that it would be most interesting to do this in Utah.

I have also been thinking lately about other education I might obtain so that I remain employable. I have been considering Library Science. I heard today that I could get an online masters from University of Alabama. So I will look into this soon.

Daughter 1 has found a job as personal assistant to the young owner of a software company. She will excel at this sort of job, as she is personable, self starting and good at making arrangements. She can write and type and all the other things. Plus she is young and fun and sounds perfect for the place. Not in her field, but perhaps she can do research towards her doctorate whilst earning a living and having benefits.

Daughter 2 has been stressing about paying all her bills. Her dad is reneging on his promise to send her to school by griping about paying her rent and helping with her bills. So maybe I need to go ahead and fit out the garage as an apartment and let her live in there. I can have her pay some on utilities and maybe help me with the yard work. I just need to scrounge up enough money to fix the plumbing and clean and pretty the place up. I think it could be pretty nice out there, actually. And also, I would have to get rid of a bunch of stuff. But maybe after I get my tax refund I can put some of it towards that end.

That was one thing i intended to do for the weekend, was to dig out all the paperwork needed for filing my taxes. I just read, mostly. And that's okay.

I have to go to jeffj's to see Big Love shortly. so I will go find a good picture.

doldrums

2009-01-30T19:54:00.002-06:00

I am trying to keep them away. I guess I am succeeding, but only just. Enjoy the picture of Merlin and Vivien.

The month has flown by. I can't recall what I have been doing since it was so boring that I want to forget it.

Topics of research have been on the lackluster side. I have done some searching on family names. I looked up information on convict camps, and researched resources for the blind or vision impaired. I also began looking into making a will, but this will require more attention than I am able to supply. I have also started thinking about returning to college, maybe for library science. I like looking things up, internet wise. How cool if I could work for google or something. But it is all lots of effort. Right now, I am in short supply.

Big Love has returned, but I can't get it, as I don't get HBO, but I have been reading Mormon stuff again, after finishing up Merlin books. I got some authurian documentaries with netflix. So it is interesting how I am reading about two unrelated subjects. I daresay I am even keeping up with both.

I am trying to make some altered art tags to swap with other artists. I am getting there very slowly. Hopefully, this weekend I will get caught up in it and really produce some things. I am considering making valentines for my friends. I wanted to compose little verses that would be appropriate, but I have no creative thoughts so I won't.

All in all, I needed to make a post, but I don't really have anything to say, so I will stop wasting space. Perhaps I can find an interesting picture.

Sunday night again

2009-01-18T21:14:00.007-06:00

I have had a slow paced weekend. I watched the Mayor of Casterbridge, I think it was enhanced with some extra stuff, but it was good, and long. I took naps, did a bit of tidying in the backyard, and cooked up some chicken for the week. I want to paint and create, but it is difficult to get started. I might take my sewing machine dvd and watch it, hoping that I will be inspired to use it and make myself some tops. I bought a set of curtain panels at the dollar store one day that just appealed to me because it was paisley. I think there is enough to make a tunic, and it would be a welcome addition to my wardrobe. Perhaps I will get busy and make it.

Jeffj redid my hair, after having tried to do it from memory. He remembered wrong, and I had a bad job for about a week. He redid it Saturday a lovely brown with auburn highlights and I have had a zillion compliments on it. It must have really looked bad. hee hee

I need to look for work in earnest. I have 6 weeks left of sure employment. There have been no inquiries concerning my barrage of applications. I don't want to take this personally, I know it isn't really, but it is hard not to feel unwanted and worthless. Even though I know better, I have the thought.

Last week, I got 10 or so new instructions to format and edit. Who will do these when I am gone? They will go back to looking unprofessional and inconsistent. And, there will be no single point of contact to oversee the process. I hope that means something to them. I really have no wish to leave my position. It is the first time, in many years, that I felt I was actually contributing. I like my company, and have no wish to go elsewhere, but they can't keep me on unless someone is willing to fund me. So I need to work hard next week, but I also need to figure out a way to follow up on the jobs I applied for. I guess I can call their personnel departments. No harm in trying that, I suppose.

I am currently sort of bored for things to think about and read up on whilst online. This concerns me, as I find some relief from my ADD by having something to read and think about. I need some new blogs to follow, or something. I go to the Dr. Who forum and I am so utterly bored to tears, they say nothing of interest. I like following a blog by a medieval professor called Unlocked Wordhorde. But they are so much more knowledgeable about the middle ages than I. It is hard to get involved. There is one called Vintage Seattle. I post there sometimes, but I really haven't got anything to add. I just like the idea that I lived there when I was a kid and perhaps I recall some of the buildings etc., he talks about. He does post about nice craftsman houses, similar to the one I grew up in, but truthfully, I feel rather envious and I don't like feeling that way.

Well, I have managed not to do anything creative this evening. I do wish I could get busy instead of looking at this computer. Now it is bedtime.

What it was like

2009-01-15T07:49:00.002-06:00

Here are other peoples' pix that I pilfered. Remarks on each picture in order:

After the performance

Waiting for Dan

The Broadhurst

This is when he arrived for a matinee likely. This would be the time to speak to him, but he is always surrounded by the body guard (left) and the driver.

Industrious me

2009-01-14T22:51:00.003-06:00

I have been applying for jobs online today, I think I did 6 of them. I really prefer to stay with the company I am currently with, but I have to be realistic. Online applications are nice for people like me who don't really want to look for jobs, but they have many drawbacks, including the idea that it is impossible to sell yourself via cover letters or personal charm.

We returned from New York Monday night. I had a wonderful time. We saw the opera, la boheme at the Met. We saw Dan Radcliffe naked at the Broadhurst. hee hee. He was in Equus. It was a good play. D had told me it was real dark and depressing, but I found it very interesting. Anyhow, we then sang at smoky Mary's (St Mary the Virgin off Times Square) and we kicked ass. I shopped a little, ate at some expensive and not all that thrilling restaurants. But my big fun came when I returned to the Broadhurst to stand watch at the stage door to obtain Dan Radcliffe's autograph. Jeffj had promised to go with me, but Chris and her hubby came along too, and in the end, she stayed, and they left. I became acquainted with two girls from Canada who had been there from earlier that evening. I taught them all I knew about lurking at stage doors and making oneself known to persons of celebrity. hee hee. It was so much fun. Jeffj said my face was alight, and he was correct. I haven't had that much fun in ages, probably since my time haunting the Richard Rogers door waiting for Alan back in 2001. I am good at it, yes, I am. Both girls got pix with him, and promised to send me copies when they get home. I will post them.

my kitty Skeezix has decided I should hold him whilst typing and it is too hard, so I will return later.

I am off to NYC tomorrow morning

2009-01-07T22:17:00.003-06:00

The choir is going to sing Sunday at St Mary the Virgin, and also go to the Met to hear Susanna Phillips. I will be there from Thursday and back late Monday. YAY!

I had my little party and it went well, although everyone didn't get there, (AZ, I am sorry about that too, as I wanted to see you) but I am glad I went ahead with it. Food was good, and the house looked nice as well, and we had a bonfire (of sorts) to burn the Christmas greens.

In the meantime, I am having a lot of pain and numbness in my hands, aggravated by typing and all the food prep I suppose. I think the 5 days away from work and my surfing will help them get better.

Mermaid, that is one reason why I never came back for more blogging. Work has not been too busy, but my hands have not worked properly.

We had a choir rehearsal tonight and now I must go pack, as my ride to the airport is coming at 430 am tomorrow. So I will stop now and finish getting my stuff together.

If I can get someone to go with me, I intend to ogle Dan Radcliffe in Equus. I have a discount and think there may be one other person who is interested in checking him out, so maybe I will see the play. But mostly, I want to see him up close, and get his picture and autograph. speak to him, you know, tell him how great he is, and how much I enjoy his Harry Potter. I really wish it were Alan Rickman instead, but I can't have everything.

So goodbye for now, and I will be back with my tales next week!

New Year 2009

2009-01-01T21:54:00.004-06:00

Last year was a great year for me. I hope this one is as good.

Everything is getting done in time for my little party. I have done so much that I have been wanting to do, including recaulking the bathroom and even doing some stick down tile in there. I have cleaned and cooked. I still have some yard work to do and some cleaning, but I think everything is under control. Tomorrow night Jerry will come and help me a little, I have a few things for him to do, then I will be pretty much done.

Tomorrow is work and I think I will spend some time chatting here since it will be a light day. That way, I can make sure to get into bed and get some good sleep. I need some.

Christmas is past; on to the New Year

2008-12-28T07:19:00.003-06:00

Actually, I don't consider Christmas over until the 6th of January. I like the idea of extending it all the way to the twelfth day. Maybe it was because my mother didn't pack it away until New Year's day, that being the most convenient day to clean up. I admit to doing that as well, one has to get ready to get back to business, but this year, New Year's day is on Thursday, and that makes for a nice long weekend before getting back to the grind.

The Kerry O'Kee singers are singing at church this morning (that is a pet name for my little ensemble). I think we will be good. And it is a short service, with no sermon, starting an hour early so everyone can continue with their vacation.

I am having a soiree next Saturday, so my attentions are turned to preparing the house and cooking, I probably shouldn't do this right now, but if I don't, I won't. My brother came over and helped me do some handyman things yesterday, including putting up some curtain rods so I could change out my bedroom linens for the new ones I bought myself for xmas. I should try to find a picture of them, it looks very nice. He also swapped out the ugly ceiling fan in the dining room for the pretty (if low wattage) fixture jeffj got me last summer. So nice to have some help.

Christmas was lovely. The daughter perked up and felt good by the end of it. Everyone liked their presents, the food was good, and all was enjoyed by everyone. I have nearly got the mess cleaned up, as usual, there is too much trash for the bin and two more days to wait.

I will return to this post after church. I need to be there at 9 sharp and I still need to get cleaned up.

Sunday morning

2008-12-21T08:39:00.003-06:00

I am playing hooky from church today, I am just not feeling it. Actually, I need a break, there has been a bit too much of it lately.

The kids are here, although staying at my ex's house. Daughter Jennifer is depressed, and I am rather concerned that she isn't getting some medication and therapy. She is concerned about the cost, but she will have a better chance of feeling better if she goes ahead and takes care of it.

I don't need convincing, she does. And maybe her husband a bit too. I don't think he is a believer in mental health. Anyway, she has put a wet blanket on Christmas for sure. She is super sensitive and weepy.

So far, all the preparations for the day have been good. I made several holiday goodies and baked spritz and then ate them all, so I think I had better leave out the cookie baking until I feel sure I can eat them in moderation. All the shopping is done and almost all the wrapping. I just need to finish up decorating my house, especially for the get together on Jan 3rd, although I still haven't decided for sure if I will do it. I have limited funds and a house payment due. Plus the trip in January.

Susanna made the local front page, but apparently, her New York Met debut was a great success and she has made the hometown proud. I think it will be memorable, if not wonderful going to the opera. I have to sit by myself, however. But I don't really mind, I guess.

D and I went to Billy's tree the other night. It was not enjoyable at all. They did a couple of songs I liked, but there was some dramatic things and a lot of the music was sappy stuff. We left about 2/3 of the way done. D didn't want to go lie to Billy that he liked it. I just couldn't abide the music another moment. I guess I am a snob, through and through.

Last night we went to Jerry and Dorrie's for carol singing. We had fun, singing from the Oxford book of carols. In parts too. Then we called Jason up and recorded O little town of Beth. to the Forest Green tune. I hope he could hear my voice. That was the one we did the best.

Later today, Davi is going to help me with a few manly things around here. I am going to make stroganoff for dinner. Bake some bread, make some kind of dessert, maybe, I got my rib roast already, and will cook it on Wednesday rather than Thursday, because of schedules etc., Jen is supposed to stay through the 26th but Davi leaves early xmas morning. She may go back early though, due to her terrible mood. I wish I could help.

well, that is enough to keep current. I haven't had any profound thoughts or moving stories to tell, just getting along as best as I can, and spending more money than is prudent. But more later.

Wolcum Jole!

2008-12-10T06:56:00.001-06:00

We had our Christmas concert and it turned out a bit better than I had thought. I always like the music by the time of the concert, and feel sad to see it go. But, on with Lessons and Carols, Christmas Eve, and then the trip to NYC in January!

After the concert, jeffj cooked up some yummy shrimp and grits and bread pudding. He sure can cook. I don't feel very competent in the kitchen with him around. Oh well, I will just let him cook. His party was splendid, Jane and Billy came, and so did Joe and Kim, along with the usual suspects. It was fun.

Sunday, we went to Sewanee on the bus to attend the Lessons and Carols there. The music was okay, but the atmosphere is so cool, incense, candles, processions, holly. What more could I want?

Monday, my mood was changed by a meeting called by my boss wherein he broke some bad news about the coming new contract. It looks like my coverage has been sacrificed for emergency cost savings measures. So I have been scrambling to prepare my resume, and my sweet daughter has already called her company's HR department to see if they have something for me. In addition, I oticed a good dozen openings locally for such as me. Besides, my company may have something for me, and I would prefer to stay with them. But I have to look out for my own interests.

So I thought I would come and mention what I have been doing, just to keep this blog from too long a period of inaction. I will talk more in upcoming days.

Another weekend end

2008-11-30T21:43:00.004-06:00

I had a lovely 4 day holiday. Thanksgiving was good, the kids were fun, the food was good, and I got quite a bit of much-needed house cleaning done. Tomorrow starts a very busy week for me, we have a concert Saturday, then on Sunday we take the bus up to Sewanee for Lessons and Carols. I hope it doesn't get icy, that is scary.

I had someone come rake my yard. I do think I will get a blower though. I don't mind leaves and I can do it so much faster than the man I hired. I thought he would never get done. I felt sorry, it was cold and windy, and he wasn't a young man, I kept coming out and raking some to give him a hand. Some boss I make. Well, he still has to clean the gutters, but I went ahead and paid him, and if he doesn't come back, I guess I chalk it up.

The kids were well, except son in law, who had a stomach bug and stayed up all night throwing up his Thanksgiving dinner. That was not fun. I had things for him to do! no really, it was the first time he has gotten to actually spend this holiday with us, and he had to be sick. Poor thing.

I have been reconsidering my dislike of thanksgiving. After this year, in my new house, I have decided the togetherness was fine, but I don't like turkey and I am not going to cook it again. Mary loves it, but she can get it at her dad's house. I will cook something other than turkey, maybe steak. and I can be thankful for steak.

I over did it with forbidden foods, not way overboard, but enough to know that I need to get back to my routine. I didn't gorge, and I left some on my plate which was what I promised myself I would do.

Well, I am off to bed now, I will endeavor to get into work at a reasonable time. I want to be able to leave by 4:30 at least. If not, then I need to build up a few extra hours to cover my trip in January. Anyway, goodnight for now.

Sunday morning time to kill

2008-11-23T07:52:00.002-06:00

Waiting for people to get up so I can go in the kitchen and make noise. Yes, It is Sunday here on Thanksgiving week. I have a yard full of leaves, perhaps I will get around to cleaning them up today, but probably not. I still have numerous chores to take care of, and I am of course, required to sing this morning, although I have no real voice today. I am all coated with the lovely rubber cement variety of snot. I skipped choir practice this week, and I really shouldn't skip church, but I am so tempted.

Yesterday I went to a wedding. It was nice enough, I ate some stuff I shouldn't have, but I didn't gorge. Then Mary and I drove up to Murfeesboro and went to a World Market store. It was fun, but too far to go for such. But I got the Christmas candy for stockings and a few other little things.

Peggy and Ashley stayed here whilst we were gone. I hope they weren't bored. Both of them have experienced some disappointments as far as seeing old "friends" this weekend. It is sad when you realize things really have changed and you are no longer a player. I have personally experienced this many times. Sometimes both parties feel that way and it is like an agreement between them to part ways. But sometimes there is the realization that you didn't mean as much to the person as you once did, or worse, as you thought you had. Not only is the meeting not fun, it is tinged with some pain and heartache.

So I am glad I was able to have them here and give them a home base for their wanderings. I am not sure when they are leaving, today or tomorrow, but at least they will have some fond memory of me.

I fretted last week about overeating and not following my plan, but I was still down a bit, and at a total of 18 pounds and a bit more of total loss. I was willing to try on a few old clothes, and they fit. They aren't exactly stylish, but they fit, and I am glad. I also got 3 tops, all requiring brown pants. I have a pair, but they are big and baggy in the thighs, so I need to get them altered.

I need to go, people are stirring and I want to get busy with the day. More later when I find a moment.

this week's doings

2008-11-18T16:04:00.005-06:00

I have a surprise visitor staying for the week. Peggy, one of my mother friends, is in town for a wedding and is staying with me. She is going to tag after me to all my goings on, like choir and our after rehearsal soirees. I hope she finds it entertaining. Last night she came out for pancakes with Jerry and Chris and me. I ate everything in sight. Oops, I have had several days of imprudent eating, and there is a thanksgiving lunch on Thursday, and a Mexican dinner tonight. And next week is another thanksgiving at work and then the real thing on Thursday. And I have a date with my Weight watcher cronies to have ourselves another Mexican celebration next Wednesday. Tonight, I have decided I will get a big pile of lettuce shreds with some guacamole on top, and one chiles rellanos a la carte. And NO chips, unless I go buy the Less ones.

Billy was irate again in chorus. I wonder what is causing him to rail at us so. I do agree with the things he is saying, but it is disconcerting when he is in a perpetual bad mood. I emailed him today to tell him I agreed with his remarks. (He is so swayed by what I think and say, hee hee.) Chorus was rough again last night, we stayed till after 9:30. He was slinging our mistakes right back at us, and there were lots of sharp-edged remarks about having to do things over so many times. I understand what he is getting at, and I am glad he is saying it but I am a bit concerned that he seems angry. His face was all red for the whole evening.

We sang an evensong in Cullman Sunday afternoon. It was good and fun to do, even though I was all tired out from the week. It is nice being a part of a prestigious choir. So many nice things are said when we get out and about like that. The next big thing we do will be the chorus concert, and then Lessons and Carols. Then its xmas and all of its excitement.

I got the house cleaned up a bit, since I had the gas guy come to assess the fireplace situation. He got it lit, but it kept blowing out. Seems that I need to replace a cube that is too small to deliver the pressure of gas I need to run the burner. So unless I cough up 500 smackers, I will be using the tv screen simulated fire. I also had an electrician come to see the list of stuff I wanted done. He is going to give me an estimate tomorrow. Owning a house is expensive. I need to start a regular savings program so I will have enough to do these things as needed.

jeffj and I are going to go to Seattle in June just to look around, including the Olympic peninsula. I want to see the rainforest.

I think I did when I was a kid, but I don't remember a lot but Crescent lake is one. And I remember another place, a beach with lots of driftwood. I think it was Ruby Beach. Not only does the name ring a bell, but the pictures do too. We stopped there for lunch or tea or something. We weren't allowed to go into the water or very far, but we wanted to see the driftwood, and the tidal pools. This was one of only two times I ever saw my paternal grandmother. She visited us, and my dad took us all on a trip to the peninsula. I remember we stayed in a cabin, but not many other details. I recall the road, driving around the park. We rented a station wagon. It was a singular occasion. They fought the whole way. Lots of yelling going on, and bossiness.

One other time I went to the ocean with my neighbor Jereen. Probably for a weekend. I remember salt. We had to wear our stiff, salty bathing suits without underpants for the drive home because we didn't bring enough clothes. Ouch! But I haven't figured out where exactly this beach was.

Sunday evening

2008-11-09T21:28:00.003-06:00

I am tired after the week of trying to pronounce Russian. We did a good job at the concert, and I think Carlos was pleased. He had tried to get us to sound patriotic for one particular movement. We weren't giving enough emphasis as written in the music, so he had us raise a fist for every accented note we had. It was pretty helpful, I think we did a good job later making sure there was a kick. Slavney boy, schmertney boy. These are the words I recall. hee hee, I am not sure what they are supposed to mean.

Billy sent us his post concert love letter, saying we did well, made him proud, etc., Funny how much adults need to hear appreciation and have approval over something like a concert. When he is busy, and doesn't have time to tell us how well we did, I think many of us feel like he didn't like it, or we didn't do our best or whatever. One time I told him we needed those emails, and he has sent us one after every concert ever since. He is a good guy, truly a nice man.

Afterwards, we went to the Chop House. I just think it is way overrated. For three people, appetizers only, 2 beers one cocktail the bill came to 96 dollars. That is way too expensive. jeffj paid but I didn't want him to pay for mine. I wish he wouldn't do that. But he is sweet.

I cooked some weight-watchery stuff for supper, we had peppered mushroom-burgers, steamed asparagus, carrots and red potatoes. All for about 9 points. It was pretty good, meat was sort of dry, but otherwise, not bad. I am also cooking some french market soup. I felt like some soup today, as it was gloomy. I don't feel great tonight, sort of achy. I hope I haven't caught that cold I keep fighting off.

Next weekend, we go to Cullman to sing an evensong. I am not keen to do it, but maybe someone else will drive, and we can stop afterward for a nice supper at All Steak. I am about over all this singing. I am glad I took today for myself and didn't go to church. I just needed to get some home things done. And I got a few done. I hung the kitchen curtains and cleaned up the big painting mess I had in the didning room. I did laundry and ironed some things, and vacuumed up a little. I replaced a floor register in my bathroom that was nasty looking, that cheered me up. I got a few drapery remnants at Hancocks today, I want to try my hand at making a tote bag with a stapler and duct tape, as seen on a recent Martha Stewart youtube. I couldn't find the iron on vinyl though. But I also got some fabric for a curtain in my laundry room, no sew, with cafe rod and rings that clip to the fabric. I just need to use the iron on hem tape. I don't know why I just don't crank up the sewing machine, but I wanted to try this for a long time, so now I can.

Yesterday Mary and I went to the Flying Monkey place and saw Suzan and also Erma and her sister, I was chuffed to see them, Jenn has been missing them both and not knowing where to find them. I got to meet Suzan's hubby and child, and another girl from my art class was up there too. It is cool having all that going on in there, I had never been before.

Here is the real schmertny boy

2008-11-08T08:29:00.004-06:00

Carlos!

This is a nice picture of the conductor of the local symphony. What talent. He is so amazing to watch. I am just thrilled to be singing under his baton! We are doing Alexander Nevsky as I said last time. He is a real inspiration.

I think we will carry it off. It isn't as crowded and miserable as the Beethoven last year. We have chairs, for one thing. But I will be glad to have it over, as the stress of trying to pronounce Russian on the musical run, was just getting to be too much for me.

I have the day to myself, but lots of chores and some resting too, for tonight. So more later.

schmertny boy

2008-11-03T22:07:00.003-06:00

Yes, the Russian is being absorbed by all of us, and come Saturday night, we will astound our public!

I am referring to a concert this Saturday night of the Huntsville Symphony Orchestra with the massive concert chorus made up of the community chorus, and two local university choral groups. We are singing for Borodin's Polovtsian Dances and Prokofiev's Alexander Nevsky. It will be thrilling, with Carlos conducting! We were supposed to have him tonight at rehearsal, but he wasn't there, I didn't hear why. But it was a long rehearsal, and so it shall be Thursday, Friday nights, and the concert on Saturday. I need to get something set up for after the concert, and I intend to skip church Sunday to rest.

I have been weight watchering and have lost 11 pounds so far. I had a rough weekend as in eating everything I saw, but I have calmed myself and perhaps I will have another pound gone this thursday. I can tell it, so can others, and I am very chuffed. I have also been walking about a half mile at lunch, not much, but at least it is something. I will increase it to a mile next week.

I want to get back to trying to do collages, or sewing or something. Today I saw the coolest thing, how to make a tote bag without sewing, using duct tape and staples. I need to remember to make one.

I have been reading Merlin stories again. I also have been watching the new BBC episodes of the show Merlin. It is pretty good, but my imagination is better. I am trying to bide my time until Half Blood Prince is out. Sigh*, if they hadn't postponed it, there would only be a week or so left to wait. Now we have to wait until next summer. Bummer.

nov slavny boy, nov schmertny boy. or somesuch.

Come hear us sing Saturday!

Thursday's dead

2008-10-30T16:33:00.002-05:00

We are preparing for an evensong Sunday and we don't know our music all that well. But there is another rehearsal, so perhaps that will help. Then I have to get back to studying the Russian. I think the concert with the symphony will be good, however. Carlos has so much energy, it is hard not to get excited.

I made reservations for New York, and Jeff hired the plane. Our hotel is just a block or so from Central Park, and convenient to everything else. It will be fun. Now I need a ticket to the opera, and then save all my money and work overtime to be able to go. I would so much rather be going to England. I was also wanting to see naked Harry Potter, but it would cost too much and it is rather distasteful of me to want to see such a young man in his wherewithal. But it is 100 dollars for a ticket to that, and frankly, that is too much to pay for a depressing play like Equus. I figure I can go hang around at the stage door and see him for free.

We need to see a show of some sort. Mary Poppins is only 40 dollars. I like that price. Unfortunately, no one wants to see Mary Poppins. When I went with Vann I had to go see Chicago. I didn’t like it. I wanted to sleep. Wicked would be alright, I don't really know any others. I will have to do some research.

Tomorrow is Halloween and I have some baking to do for Mary's party. I hope I am not tempted to eat any of what I bake, because I am doing well with my eating plan, and don’t wish to mess it up. I have lost 11 pounds total, and I am quite excited about it. I even had to reduce my daily point allotment. :-D how exciting is that?

I haven't done anything artistic and I want to get back to doing that. Suzan, the teacher from the class I took, has been churning out paintings like mad. I want to do some of that, to get moving. I also want to sew, so maybe after the next 2 weekends, I will get back to some of those things.

The weather is perfect. I love the cool air and the smell of dry leaves. I even helped Mary bag some up so her yard would be nice for the party Saturday night. We borrowed a leaf blower, and I think I really need one of those.

Pecans are ripening. The squirrels get them as fast as I can think about getting out there to pick them up. And they aren't falling all at once, but just a few here and there. That makes it harder to collect enough to do anything with.

Loreena

2008-10-24T16:04:00.004-05:00

video from youtube Iocco1

LOREENA MCKENNITT THE MUMMERS' DANCE LYRICS
When in the springtime of the year
When the trees are crowned with leaves
When the ash and oak, and the birch and yew
Are dressed in ribbons fair

When owls call the breathless moon
In the blue veil of the night
The shadows of the trees appear
Amidst the lantern light

We've been rambling all the night
And some time of this day
Now returning back again
We bring a garland gay

Who will go down to those shady groves
And summon the shadows there
And tie a ribbon on those sheltering arms
In the springtime of the year

The songs of birds seem to fill the wood
That when the fiddler plays
All their voices can be heard
Long past their woodland days

And so they linked their hands and danced
Round in circles and in rows
And so the journey of the night descends
When all the shades are gone

"A garland gay we bring you here
And at your door we stand
It is a sprout well budded out
The work of our Lord's hand"

Monday, Monday

2008-10-20T15:58:00.003-05:00

Yes, it has been Monday today. A long day, and I am bored to bits. sigh* Nothing much to do or think about, I couldn't even find a blog to read that interested me. That or I had already read them.

The concert went off pretty well. We went to supper at jeffj's afterwards. It was all fun. and I was complimented Saturday, someone (who shall remain nameless) said I looked very nice. It made my day.

Friday was Dorrie's birthday party and it was also a lot of fun. The food was great, but I didn't overdo. I was also able to wear my last pants size on Friday. I was chuffed.

Next weekend is a white elephant sale. I will then get a short rest before we start evensinging and then lesson-and-caroling, not to mention the symphony music and the holiday chorus concert. I will have no life for the next 2 months except for music. And then in January we plan to sing in NYC. All this is fun, but since I am sleepy today, it is making me all the more tired.

I came to blog because I was bored, but now I am boring myself with such dull discussion. Maybe coffee will help.

Thursday night after choir

2008-10-16T22:53:00.002-05:00

We had a rehearsal and I rather enjoyed myself. Jeffj wasn't there, but Wayne was, and so I had some tenor companionship.

This weekend is our community chorus concert. I think it will be well received, the audiences love stars and stripes. Afterwards, Jeffj is preparing supper for us. Billy likely can't make it, but Joe has agreed, as well as the usual suspects.

My art project is not. I won't stop though, I will continue to attempt to make something, even if I never give it to her, I have picked some nice things. It might turn out alright, but I can't get it done before tomorrow night.

My eldest daughter has a masters in Political Science with emphasis on South African politics. Today she interviewed at the Carter Center for a job, there were 400 some odd applicants for it. She thinks she is one of the select few who continued in the interview process. I would like her to get a good job with benefits and stability, and this would be great. Her hubby is a pilot, and he flies for a local airline, but he has some plans for flying for Quantas out of Australia, but hopefully not anytime soon. They are sort of out of kilter with their plans lately and I would hate to see them have difficulty once she lands a job such as this. But I won't borrow trouble. I will think positively for her to get the job.

My younger daughter has gotten a good graphics-type job and will be getting her clearance soon. I am chuffed for her too, and they are paying for her college, which is good. She is doing very well.

Now, as for me, I am liking my job, I love my house, and I am fairly happy with things right now. I still need to get my budget organized and make some lists of things I need to accomplish, but all in all, I am getting along fairly well. ADD is such a nuisance, and there isn't much to do for it other than be aware of it, and don't let it get hold of you. I used to not know when I was being affected, but I have learned to identify it before it gets out of hand. I just don't want to take medication for the rest of my life. But it improves the quality of my life to take it, and so I shall continue.

I just wanted to talk a little before bed. I am sort of wired from the rehearsal and didn't feel particularly sleepy, but I need to turn in so I can get up and wash my hair before work. My hair takes a while to air dry before I can take a blower to it, and I am always late on days when I have to wash it. Sometimes I have time to do it in the evening, but that isn't the case this week. I was able to do several of my errands this afternoon, though which takes them off my Saturday morning list, when I have a rehearsal at 9 am and a performance at 6:15 pm.

Let me find some art work. I am not sure what mood I am in today. I will let myself be surprised. I searched on creepy. This reminds me of a creepy girl picture a blog friend of mine posted not too long ago. Hey Julie, I found a match for your creepy girl picture.

Saturday morning

2008-10-11T08:19:00.003-05:00

It is a pretty -looking day out. I haven't felt the temperature, but hopefully it will be cool and pleasant. I have some activities planned for today, though I am not feeling my best. I have caught an autumn cold, at the most inopportune time, seeing we have a concert upcoming, and then an evensong.

I have been asked to assist in assembling packets of Christmas music for the chorus. I think I may be able to do that with a foggy head. In any case I shall try. And then it is D's birthday and it is his desire to go over to a local State Park lodge and dine sylvan style. I can't think of a proper gift for him, he has everything, needs nothing and has no hobbies. He needs a pet, but that would have to be his decision, not mine. I thought of getting him a gift card at the book store, but that seems so dull. Besides, I don't want to spend much. Once he gave me a ceramic lucky cat, with a necklace of feathers. Seems like I might be able to do something similarly useless to reciprocate.

I also want to give something special to the wife of a fellow Kerry o' Kee singer. I have been considering making her a collage, of herself, but I am having a lot of trouble getting ideas. I have modern pictures of her, and I like the vintage look best. In any case, I am having fun trying things out on the backgrounds. I am not sure why I seem so stuck when it comes to getting on with it. I guess I am afraid I will mess it up, but even if I do, I can paint over the top and try something else.

My second art class was canceled due to lack of students. I am really bummed too. I liked having an art night, and looking forward to bonding with all those other women. Its fun to get ideas and hear their tales. Everyone has the same sort of stuff going on, funny how similar we all are.

a dull Monday

2008-10-06T16:00:00.002-05:00

I am feeling sort of blah today, and I just don't want it. I had a fun weekend, but I got nothing done around chore wise. Jennifer was visiting and she, Mary and I went to Scottsboro and had a nice dinner out. I didn't do so well with my meals this weekend, but I will just have to account for what I ate, and adjust for what is to come.

I was hoping I would get around to fitting setting up my sewing room but I didn't. I put some polyurethane on the top and first shelf. I didn't want to bother with the rest of it, but the color changed, so I guess I need to cover the whole thing. I have also been looking for baskets or totes that I could stick in there to hold things. I haven't found what I want yet, but I will keep looking. Jen brought me an Ikea catalog. I imagine there are solutions in there.

When I get into this mode, I am usually just wishing for something interesting to think about and ponder. I want to do everything, but I am overwhelmed. I don't know which thing to do first. I get tired thinking about it and as a result, I don't do anything. I feel too tired to do anything.

I was just thinking I would like to get window screens, then I want to pay off a 300 dollar debt with a friend. Then there are countertops I want, and I need some electrical work done, and tile for the sunroom. But nothing can happen until I make a plan and save for each thing, and then they can happen. I am so impatient. I wish I weren't. I never learned how to bide my time and wait for something. I always want it NOW.

Art starts back up on Thursday and we are supposed to make altered books. I would prefer to try making an 8x10 or next size up background so I could move past my issues with color and texture and get on with things. Doing it all in the journal format might be limiting me. But I will happily learn whatever Suzan wants to teach me.

Well, I have bored myself and so I will stop writing for now.

almost october

2008-09-28T19:24:00.002-05:00

It won't be but a few days. I think October has to be my favorite month, trees start turning, weather turns cooler, apples ripen, just a good time of year. I was going to have a little house warming in October, but I can't afford it right now. I have still not gotten adjusted to my new house payment. Which reminds me that I need to mail it off.

I haven't gotten much done this weekend, but I did finish painting the bookcase, now I just need to polyurethane it. then I can start loading it up with stuff. I wish I could find some cute baskets to serve as drawers. Even uniform plastic tubs would be nice. I also got rid of three boxes of books and two of junk for the white elephant sale. I hope we do well, I don't think we have much stuff amassed yet.

I also cooked some sweet potatoes for supper, I didn't think I would like them, but it was good, I still have one to spare. I also made Kassler ripchen. I could eat more, but I saved some for a lunch next week. I alsooven fried some chicken legs for lunches and snacks. They are only one point without the skin, so that is a good in between meals snack.

Church had some lovely words in the hymns, I guess it was St Francis of Assi day, they had the blessing of the animals and some good songs. I wanted to post the words, but I will have to go find it, so maybe tomorrow.

I may have to go to bed early today, as I feel so sleepy. I wanted to paint tonight, but I feel like I am about to fall asleep. I wished I had felt productive this weekend. I just didn't. Well, no need to beat myself up about it, I will have other days.

Jen and Davi come next weekend. It will be nice to see them, and a payday to boot, so I won't be totally broke. I do have a few things I have to do but none are big things and so I can actually have a visit with them.

Thursday is art!

2008-09-25T13:16:00.004-05:00

I am loving Thursdays. Not only are they the day before Friday, but there are no rehearsals, and now, there is art class! I am enjoying myself. I have done some work on my journal this week, too, more independent thinking than in weeks past. I have still not gotten the look I seek, but I am trying things and seeing what works and what doesn't. I totally painted over the transer I made last week. It was just a black blob. Another think I need to do is find some stuff with texture that I can use on the backgrounds, like interesting tire tracks and criss-crosses etc. I even made a little photo pocket on one page. And stuck some real picture of me as a child in it. So the looker (at the journal) can interact with the thing. Artsy-fartsy, isn't it?

I made Billiboi mad at me yesterday, I made a remark that he took in a way which it was not intended and spoke sternly and with several exclamation points. It was upsetting, and happily, I think we have moved past it. But on the other hand, it was a tiny bit of a thrill to have moved him to some sort of emotion. ooooh! hee hee. Later I sent him a cyber hug, and he sent back an appreciative response. What was terrible about it all, was that I was picking at him so he would respond to me. I had asked him some questions, and he hadn't answered and I wanted to talk to him. So I poked him and it riled him up!

I finished the Deathly Hallows again. I spent some time reading the last bits over becasue I had not really understood all of what happened and so forth. SPOILER: I really think she sort of hurried to finish the last book, and left lots of things hanging. It was all untidy. For example, She had spent so much time on Hagrid in the earlier books, then used him almost for comic relief at the end. Lupin and Tonks, we didn't get to see their relationship and we really wanted to, then she killed them off. Hermione conveniently packed her family off for safekeeping and to minimize interference. The camping trip went on and on. Where was Kreacher at the end? Even in the book, all that time talking about S.P.E.W. then no mention of elves at all, at the end. What about Luna's dad? Well, there were more instances than I can name here. One of the things that bothered me the most was that Harry named one of his kids after Snape, Snape may have loved Lily, but he was certainly very hateful to Harry. Harry hated him so much, and just getting those memories could not have made him fond of snape, not enough to name his child. And why not name one after Sirius, or his father. No, I felt sort of robbed. THere were so many other things she could have done with the endings. And marrying them off took away our ability to dream alternative endings. Anyway, I liked this picture of serious Harry, and thought I would post it here, since I have nothing else to do with it.

Now here is one of my favorite Hermione pictures, and one I found of Alan being playful. Enjoy.

Nice Saturday

2008-09-20T18:23:00.005-05:00

My daughter and I got up early and went to a regional craft fair, it wasn't very interesting, just loads of children's clothes, homemade jewelery and soap and those stupid mixes. We were rather disappointed. I had wanted to see a potter who had come the year before, and also the creative altered Barbie woman I talked about the other day. Neither were there.

So we went to an art show at the local state park, and that is where the rest of the crafters were, mixed in with the local artists. There was a lot of so-so stuff, but the nice woodsy outdoors, cooler temperatures, and carnival atmosphere made it a lot more interesting than the craft show we had just left. The potter was not there, but the altered Barbie woman was. She was too busy to visit, so we didn't get a chance to talk, but I didn't see anything in particular that moved me this year. It seems like she brought wild stuff to the indoor craft show last year and boring grandma crafts to this show, which had a much more artsy crowd. Only one Barbie too, and I was contemplating buying one this year. This one looked like a cowgirl in black and white gingham. Not cute. Last year she had nymphs and dryads and harlequins, acrobats, fairies, merbarbies and even a greenwoman!

One of the girls in my class was there, Leslie Wood, who is featured in Somerset magazine with her junk angels. Her stuff was great, inventive, well done and I was glad to lend a bit of support by coming, even though I didn't buy anything. I also saw two of the other women from the class up there. So that was nice. There was another girl who had art journals, but these were blank, except they were dressed and ready to journal in as is, or you could do some arty things in it too. I almost got one of hers, but since I am making one, I thought maybe I could make one of my own.

Then we went to Lowe's where I was wanting a gas grill, but they haven't reduced the price yet. We went to the wallpaper department and got two old books for free. I think these will rpovide some prettiness and good textures, and I can certainly share with my class too. Free is so fun!

Next we ate at a little BBQ shack, which was pretty good. Then, on to the grocery store. Along the roadside near the grocery, ther had been an old cedar tree cut down and big chunks of tree truck were there for the taking. We went past them, not thinking we could manage. But down the road a bit, we decided that was too good to pass up and called my brother to come with his truck. More free stuff! I wanted the big chunks to use for a table or stool in the yard, but they were overrun with carpenter ants, so I guess that is why they were cut down. But we got 5 decent logs, and my brother is going to help us cut them up, or whatever when we decide what to do with them.

Next, we went to an art store so my daughter could get something for a screen print she is doing in school. We found a small pack of clayboard for me to try, and a variety pack of ATC cards, which was what drew me into this altered art world in the first place. So now I have some things to try after I get the techniques down better, and I am so squee-ly excited about it!

Next, I came home and put the groceries away and started supper. After dinner, I may watch a movie, or I may do some more on my journal. Or I might do some chores.

It has been a really great day! I think I might dance.

A Really Crappy Day!

2008-09-16T22:11:00.002-05:00

Yes, crappy. I have been preparing for a colonoscopy tomorrow. You get the picture. Except I can't stand drinking the solution and I don't think I can finish it. I have done a little over half and it is really time to go to bed. I guess if I had had a bit more action, I might think it was safe to stop drinking, but I don't feel quite done yet.

Well, enough of that. I had a whole day at home, I was wanting to do some work on my journal, but I felt so terrible today, with a screaming headache along with nothing to eat. I was surprised that it didn't bother me as much as I was afraid it would. And I am a girl who likes her food. But I noticed, just like with smoking, that it was a whole lot about the activity, rather than the actual eating. When I would sit down where I usually eat, I felt restless and antsy. But I have made it, and in 12 hours, I will be eating something. At least that's the plan.

I got outside a little, as it was a lovely breezy and cool day. I scraped some grass out the the cracks of a bricked bit of driveway, but I forgot to bring all the implements in. Oh well, there they will stay. Art wise, I did several layers of paint on the front facing page, and stuck some things on there, and tomorrow I am going to transfer a calendar on the page. I hope it works. I should wait until Thursday, but I need to move forward and stop waiting for others to go first. I have done a transfer or two, and watched it being done, and so I think that I can do it just fine.

This weekend there is a craft show in town, Mary wanted to go. I think it would be fun to see how may people are doing this kind of art. There is one kooky lady that usually comes who has the greatest things that she makes. I bought a purse from her last time. One time she had a rose that smelled like licorice. This past time, she had all these barbie dolls painted up and decorated. They were great! She painted and dressed them, lots of glitter and glitz, stuck sequins etc., I hope she brings them again. I was inspired the last time. Altered Barbie.

Well, I am going to attempt to drink another 8 ounces of the stuff, then go to bed. I still have a headache and I imagine I have not finished with the bathroom yet, but I have had enough of this day. Real crappy. But crappy beats cancer.

Friday at long last!

2008-09-12T14:36:00.004-05:00

I had fun at art class last night. My journal is actually looking like something. We did some stamping and cut and pasted our dolls. Then we whitewashed parts, then highlighted with a charcoal pencil around all the stuff we had glued on there. I need to get some modpodge. Next, mine needs color so I am going to add some with paint or paper. I didn't really leave a place to write, but I didn't want to write in there anyhow. I don't think I liked the way the paper dried after I glued the pages together, I think a watercolor sketchbook would be better next time. I may transfer my calendar pages in to the other pages. I may not have enough pages for the whole thing, but I mostly just want to learn technique.

I have been stimulated enough to know that I want to experiment and slop some paint etc., around. How fun to be artsy! I am going to be pretty good at this, methinks. As long as I don't have to draw.

This weekend I need to take a look at making a budget for my new situation. I am going to run into trouble if I don't take the time I need to get it down on paper. I am planning to have a little party in October, and this won't happen if I don't make a plan.

Next week I have a colonoscopy. Ugh, I am not looking forward to that at all. I don't expect any trouble, but I know its best to be safe rather than sorry. D said he would take me and return me so I don't have to hunt up a morning ride.

I don't really want to publicize this, because I am bad about announcing things and then they fizzle, but I have joined ww again, and it starts next Thursday. I have decided that lugging all this weight around is for the birds. I have been thinking about it for a while, and now I am doing something. There is a program at work and I decided I would do it.

I finished reading the Half Blood Prince again. I wish they hadn't postponed the movie, but perhaps it is a good thing and will coincide with the opening of Hogwarts in Florida. I have plans to go down as soon as it opens, but they just say 2009, never a month.

I will get Georgy Girl from Netflix this weekend. I know, why? Well, I somehow listened to the theme song on youtube by the Seekers, and I decided to go ahead and watch the movie. Stuff from the 60s is interesting to me, because I was there. I like to try to see if I remember things in the same way. But the movie is British. The references will be somewhat familiar though, since I have loved the Beatles for so long.

Sadly, Celtic Lady has decided to stop blogging for now, to do some other things, attend to personal matters. I will miss reading her blog, which was always presented beautifully, and her posts were very interesting. But I will keep her in my thoughts and when next I go to the Russell Stover store for maple crème eggs, I will certainly send her some of the raspberry.

I have gotten a handful of blogs now that I like to read on a regular basis. I have a routine that now takes a good half hour to catch up. But having been bored lately, it is nice to have something to read and think about.

Tuesday night

2008-09-09T21:24:00.002-05:00

I am hoping to get some work done on my journal before class Thursday, but I am stalling. Right now I am only painting/priming and snipping images I like. I haven't really found what I want for the paper doll or words or quotes etc., that have meaning.

I saw an exercise elsewhere on the internet to help one get with it in terms of doing a collage. She says to get a picture that speaks to me, stick it on a page, add a statement or word, then draw around the figure several times, doing contours. Those form some lines upon which one might journal. Then some paint and other stuff as one is moved, but it helps eliminate the thinking that keeps us from starting, and serves as a method of giving courage. I have found many wonderful sources of free images to use. So I can also do some trimming in preparation for Thursday.

I cooked supper, thinking my child would come share it, but she failed to materialize and now I have a messy kitchen and haven't started any painting. Oh well, I might just paint some tomorrow night after choir. D. wants to join my choir for drinks/dinner afterwards. I really would rather come home, as I need to paint and get some sleep.

Speaking of, I need to get some tonight too, and I am going to go have a blood test in the morning and need to fast tonight. I get thirsty thinking about it. hee hee. Right now I am stuffed from dinner, and hopefully, I will still be fill in the morning. But after I do the test, I can have breakfast, so I may just stop back at home on my way to work and eat, and pick up my lunch. In fact, Maybe I can sleep in, since I can't go to the doctor until 8:30. hmmm maybe that means I can stay up, or get up early. I am sleepy already so I doubt I can stay up.

Next week I have a colonoscopy, my first one. I am not too thrilled, but better that than cancer. I also need to see about my foot, as I think I refractured it. But right now, I am going to go finish up the dishes. More tomorrow or later in the week.

Notes for Friday

2008-09-05T16:15:00.002-05:00

My life is filled up with so many good things, I can hardly believe it. I have great children, a job, a house, wonderful friends, a voice to sing with, a vocabulary and something to say. I am creative and intelligent and interesting. I taking an art class and I feel so excited about it. We will be making an art journal and I am thinking about how I would like to do it. I hope to get my garage set up sort of studio-like this weekend, so I can paint with abandon and keep the furry kitties out of my stuff. I was thinking about doing all this in the sunroom, but the handfuls of fur I sound in there are terrible. Those cats need brushing, and somewhere outside!

This week has been long. I got one document finished, and there is one more I will have to do first thing Monday, then I can be sort of caught up. I have been having a little trouble organizing all the stuff I want to do. I think it is time for me to ask Vic to help me prioritize. He sort of forces me to work on things by making me give him a status regularly. I hate it, but it keeps me honest.

There was an anniversary lunch in here today, and I was excluded because I am a subcontractor. I really didn't care anything about going, but it was they way everyone was sort of sneaking around to talk about it, and never mentioning it to me. Finally, the honoree said he was sorry I couldn't go, but it was against the company's ethics for me to go. I am not mad at him, but I was very riled up for a while. It seems to me that the company wants a cohesive product team, yet they are constantly excluding us from things and refer to us as "non"-[company name] employees. I have a job that necessitates me using the local network to check org charts and company policies having to do with operations. I am on a filter, as a non employee, so I won't be able to access important company data. This does not make sense to me. I am to do a job for the company, but I can't see what I need to in order to do my work. More of the same exclusivity.

In reference to the lunch, I thought they could have explained that long before today. And I don't think it would be unethical for me to go to the lunch, provided I bought my own. Anyway, there are two new people in here that are the goodiest two-shoes you ever saw! They both jumped right on the unethical bandwagon. They work every minute of their day and rarely appear to goof off or anything normal. I am not in favor of goofing off all the time, but they seem almost deranged with their work ethic. One girl stayed over 30 minutes to make up for the long 3 hour lunch they took at the company's expense.

I guess in all honesty, I really didn't care about going, I just didn't like being left out for the 3 weeks they have been planning. I think the policy could have been explained to me right at the b3eginning. Besides that, I have been to one of these before. And it was paid for! Hmm, perhaps I need to reimburse the compnay for that lunch to avoid the appearance of wrong doing.

Okay, now I have complained, and now I am over it.

Got to this website http://thriftycollageartist.blogspot.com/ to see pictures of my class (one of me and my gluestick) and all the cool stuff the instructor brought us! It was so much fun, and I liked all the women taking the class as well. I think it will be a real inspiration.

Tomorrow is trade day or somesuch downtown. I think M and I will go, then I will probably go to the lake to help them clean up for the summer. They have helped me so much that I feel it is important to reciprocate.

But I will make time to be artsy. Whoo-hoo!

Excitement!

2008-09-01T12:25:00.002-05:00

My daughter saw a collage artist at a local art fair this weekend, and she is teaching a class locally, beginning this Thursday, on making an altered journal. I think I will be there. I need to understand more about paint and layers and backgrounds, so this would be so up my alley! I am so chuffed! I will be inspired in time for Christmas. eeeeeek! (sound of excitement)

This weekend we sang our Anglican goodies at the first baptist church. We did alright, a few glitches, but they seemed to like us, and even clapped!?! Billy was pleased, he is always nice, no matter what you do. After that, I went to the lake for the evening, took the pontoon boat out and cruised around Tims Ford lake, trying to catch a breeze. I had been invited by Jerry, whose father was visiting, just a few weeks since his mother died. I think they want to provide some distraction for him, but not appear like they were having a joyous party or anything. So it was small and quiet. I got home pretty late, but did sleep in and so I am not doing to bad.

I havent gotten a lot accomplished this weekend, but I really don't care. I had a little birthday soiree last week for Jerry, then the singing, then the lake. Today I will do some ironing in preparation for work, and try to get some things cooked, etc., Then there is chorus tonight. I wish we had a day off from that too, but we don't, so why fret. I don need to finish sorting all the music, and maybe I can get it returned to the office so I don't have to fuss with it any longer.

On the website of the teacher of the art class, she had this poem, which is the Optimist Club Creed, written in 1912 by Christian D. Larson

Promise Yourself —

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

I think that is an awesome way to meet life. I hope to think about it often. Not sure, but maybe I ought to print it out and stick it up here and there. Anyway, good thoughts on a Monday.

I think I will go dig out my art stuff so I will be ready for class thursday!

ooh I have comments, lots of comments!

2008-08-22T23:25:00.002-05:00

I am excited, I have discovered lots of comments, even on old posts. hooray! I love getting them! I have a reading routine now, where I go read the blogs I like, then come see if anyone read mine. It is such a nice treat to find a remark.

Tonight the chamber chorale sang it was another combined concert with the UAH Chamber Winds. I think we did alright, but we only had 4 songs. Billy was happy, and even critic D said it was very good. I like to get these concerts behind me, as I tend to get pretty wigged out over them, at least until I feel sure they will be okay, (or when I am sure I know my music). The tenors were thin, and we really do need some new ones. But I think it was all okay.

Tomorrow D and I are going to hear Joe singing Pinafore. He is Ralph. I will enjoy listening and looking at him, but I am otherwise pretty tired and want to do nothing this weekend. I had two days off, and I still feel sluggish. I suppose I am still mending from whatever upset I had earlier this week.

D and his partner have split. I am sorry for him, but I think it is best, as the guy was not reliable, and not very healthy mentally. But D is awfully isolated where he is living, and he owns the house, and the other guy owns the land, so they are both sort of stuck, because neither can buy the other out. So his options are limited. But I think it is a releif now that he doesn't have to worry about having a fight every time he gets home and bad feelings all the time. That is such a draining thing.

Maybe this weekend I can get out my art stuff and try to make something pretty like a collage or an altered page or something. I still need to finish my little art room, I have supplies to locate and unpack, and a bookcase to paint. sigh I wonder if I will ever get arranged here.

I also am on a Tudor binge, and this weekend's movie is Anne of the Thousand Days. I hope it is interesting. But I am not overwhelmed with too much to do, so maybe I will get some chores done and a little relaxation, and a bit of creativity. That sounds nice. And some sleep, so I shall say godnight now. After I find a good picture.

Another day at home

2008-08-20T12:26:00.003-05:00

I have been under the weather for the past few days and I even stayed home from work. Yesterday I felt bad, but today I feel pretty good, and have been using the time to clean up and arrange some things in my house.

I was surprised Friday night by a friend who came up from Florida with her daughters and spent the weekend with me. I had a lot of fun, I didn't do much except eat and watch Harry Potter movies. So my chores fell by the wayside. But it was okay, and today I am playing catch up. It was nice to see her, I am reminded that I don't have a best female friend anymore. I have one or two real good girlfriends, but no best friend. She was one of the first I ever had in my entire life. She moved away about 4 years ago now, but I had forgotten how much fun it was to have her around. She was encouraging, spontaneous, helpful and fun.

I had another best friend a few years ago who was my almost constant companion for about 9 months. Then she stepped back, leaving me in a best friend drought. I do have some excellent male friends, gay men who are as good as a girlfriend in almost every aspect. But they just don't understand certain things. So anyway, it was nice having a girlfriend again, even if only for a weekend.

Chorus and choir have started back. This Friday is a concert of the chamber chorale. I hope we will be good, there has not been adequate time to prepare, and there aren't enough tenors. Joe is doing something else and won't be there, which is a disappointment. I got a chain letter prayer thing from him today, I was one of a small group of people who got it. It was nice to be included.

I watched A Man for All Seasons last night. I was puzzled by the low key of it. I had thought it had been a showier production than it was, this one had Paul Scofield as Thomas More. I thought maybe Richard Burton had been in it. Well, I did send it back, so I should have another movie for the weekend. Anne of the Thousand Days, I think. That will at least be pretty, if not interesting. I am watching only Henry VIII for the next few weeks. Getting my Tudors fix.

Nice to look at: Albrecht Dürer

2008-08-14T07:00:00.003-05:00

These are all self portraits.

Read all about him here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albrecht_DÃ¼rer

wednesdays wiles

2008-08-13T15:46:00.005-05:00

Well, I have found new internet toys to play with and I have been busy with them. One is called pandora and you get to program yourself some radio stations that you like and they play known and unknown music. If you don't like the song you can ban it from your stations and if an artist gets banned twice, you will never see that artist again.

The other thing is called stumbleupon which is a search engine that searches according to one's likes and interests. It finds websites that you might never find. It is so cool! I have spent hours meandering.

And I was invited to instant message with Joe, I am thrilled. But I am not exactly sure why he sent this to me, as an invite. Maybe he doesn't realize that he did. tee hee. Well, I have just deluged him with a bunch of instant messages. I'll bet he is confused as to why. I am amused.

He sent me the invite intentionally, but couldn't chat then, as he had to go find a pair of shoes. How fun to learn little bits of things about him. Yesterday, I knew none.

I had a mammogram this afternoon and it brought me home early. For this I am thrilled. It also gives me time to cook and eat before rehearsal tonight. Speaking of, Jerry's mother died, but he said he would be there anyway. It happened so fast, as she was going pretty well and feeling strong, socialble, out of bed, etc. When he was telling us that, I almost mentioned how patients can rally right before they slip out of life. I didn't say anything as I felt it was crass. I hope he was there and not here since she was doing so well.

mondegreens

2008-08-06T23:26:00.005-05:00

The subject came up tonight and I love talking about them.

I just read about one concerning I'd Really Love to See You Tonight. The line is apparently "I'm not talkin' 'bout movin' in" but people have heard it other ways like

I'm not talkin' 'bout the linen or
I'm not talkin' bout religion

But I think its "I'm not talkin' 'bout millenia, and I don't want to change your life etc.," I think I am correct, it even makes sense.

Another instance where I think I am correct is the song Electric Avenue. Independently of one another, my two daughters and I all think the line "Workin' so hard like a soldier; Can't afford a thing on TV; Deep in my heart I'm a warrior Can't get food for them kids, good God " we think its "deep in my heart I abhor ya"

Anyway, I think its funny to have so many instances of misheard lyrics even now, I still sing them wrong.

My girls thought "Can't buy me love" was "Aunt Bobby Love" (they had an uncle bobby).

I will have to start writing them down when I think of them, as all have left my head since I started this blog entry.

Well, it is Thursday and I have had a devil of a time getting anything done. I guess I am just bored and hot and out of sorts. I want to do nothing. I know the heat does this to me, but usually I can stay in all day at work and forget about the heat until its time to go home. But I just can't even think of anything I could surf to and read that would interest me. I am bored and boring.

I also have some new cube mates who are busy all the time, and so goofing off seems a bit risky. I mean, I get my work done on time and such, but I have to take frequent amusement breaks or I just can't hack it. I think my boss understands this. Also, it isn't like I am shopping or reading facebook or something, usually, I am reading something educational, about customs, history, biographical info, hymns, and a few blogs. I also do like to search for images of concepts. Here I searched on creepy. It is so much fun to see what you get. This was a winner.

Anyway, I do like to look for nice pictures and I use them as backgrounds and for illustrating something I am talking about. Many hours of fun and games when I am bored. But I need to think of something I can amuse myself with when those new cubemates are about. I was going to bring some embroidery, but thought better of it.

Well, it is the witching hour and I am past my bedtime, so toodles.

Give Almes of thy Goods

2008-08-03T12:52:00.004-05:00

And turn never thy face from any poor man, and then the face of the Lord shall not be turned away from thee. -- from the Book of Common Prayer

Nice thought for a Sunday, I was surfing and saw these almshouses and it made me think about a song we are going to sing in billy boy's baptist church. I wonder who lives in these almshouses and how do they rate getting one? I would love to live there.

Here is a comparison (unfair, I know). Another interesting feature about almshouses is that they frequently feature the gables in their architecture. Just like the old gas stations, they have are built to certain company specs. In our local housing projects, they just all seem to be dull red brick, as lifeless as can be found.

Odd how things you think of move you from one idea to the next. Sometimes I wonder about the tangents my mind takes me on.

Today I am feeling happy because several new people have found their way to my blog and left remarks. I think that sometimes, whether I am willing to admit it or not, when no one comes here to read, it makes me feel sort of bad, as though no one likes me. I realize, of course, that this stems from my inner child (blah, blah) having a fear of rejection or abandonment. Whatever.

I just like thinking that someone else finds my ramblings interesting enough to comment upon. It is so amazing to me how easy it is to communicate with people nowadays! It is so nice to find people who are interested in the same things, and read the same books and have the same hopes and dreams. Just amazing.

I have been busy these past weekends trying to unpack and shift everything around so that it all fits in my new house. This hasn't been easy, because I have more stuff that will fit, more stuff than I need, and it is often hard to part with my treasures. But I am filling boxes for the charities and trying to recycle what I can. I found out that if I keep the box from sitting around, I am more likely to actually part with things, so I took three big boxes to Salvation Army yesterday and already have two more. I guess this is why I have alms on my mind.

Tonight there will be red beans and rice. I also think I might make some oatmeal cookies just to celebrate my new stove. I have gone so long with one that didn't work right, and then a month here in the new place before I got one. I am just happy to have one that works and I want to cook.

Also tonight, I will watch the finale of Design Star. I have never watched an entire reality series before, and I hope I never do again, but it has been interesting to tune in and see who will win. I really have not been very excited by any of this years contestants, but they had some hard things to decorate, I thought. Then too easy, like their mother's house. Well, I will be free after tonight, and can get back to doing something more productive.

so little to say

2008-07-30T16:51:00.004-05:00

I had so much to say for a while and now I haven't. I wonder what happened to silence me. I don't think it was like being censored or stopped from talking; more, I just didn't feel the need to chatter like I did for awhile. In consideration of this thought, I realize that I am bored at present and seem to have no particular interests or subjects I want to investigate. When I am intrigued, I have so much more to say.
I am excited about my new house, but not to the point of going on and on about it. I am not reading anything thrilling. Eckhart Tolle, but I must not be getting him, because I am not thrilled and devouring all of his stuff. The music I have been doing lately is not turning my crank either. I wish something would turn up that gets me motivated and interested.
But I don't want to say I am depressed, because I don't think I am. I think this is ordinary time, and normal. In the past, when I felt bored in this kind of blah time, I would get myself into trouble. Now that I have discovered that trap, I don't, but I remain bored, which is no fun to me.
I can't even think of anything to look up on the web. Today I hunted for images of oak trees and liturgical symbols. Why, I really don't know. Well the symbols, I was considering making some pretty paper fans for use in church. I thought it would be nice to have some liturgical ones rather than funeral home or "I'm a BAMA Fan" on them. Something like this (see drawing), you know, in nice vibrant stained glass window designs. Maybe we could market them for sale in the Mustard Seed or during our upcoming choir garage sale. I will look into it. AHA!!! something to investigate for tomorrow!

I see I have been visited by one of AZ's buddies. Thanks for coming here auntvee. I hope your mom is still around where you can revisit the smemory. Mine has been gone for 16 years and I still think she is near when I catch a whiff.

Fridays are good

2008-07-18T13:45:00.002-05:00

I have a zillion things to do this weekend, and so I am anxious for it to begin. I have had enough of wwork this week, so it can stop, I so wish it were 5 o'clock.

I bought a new stove and it will be delivered Monday. I think I will celebrate by cooking a feast. Likely it will be cookies and a roast, and casseroles and things I haven't been able to have for so long. I should hunt for some good recipies to try. I am tired of eating out, mostly at fast food places. Besides they are so bad for me. But it will be so nice to have the kitchen whole again.

My daughter is visiting and it will be a good weekend to get some help with some of my unpacking and shifting stuff around. Maybe I will feel like it, I have been sort of tired all week. I need a new pillow, I think, as well as just some general exercise. Things are starting to hurt in my old age, and I know it will just get worse.

This is just a little blurb to try to keep my blog alive. I hope I will find some time to write more this weekend.

Helpful Hintz

2008-07-09T14:39:00.002-05:00

I was recalling today how I used to write frequently to Heloise with all of my numerous great ideas for homemakers. I wrote to her in all sincerity, too, not just to see if she would fall for my letter. I thought it might amuse to recount some of these gems.

One New Years' Day, I was catching up on the ironing and I thought how sad for people who are football widows to have nothing to do on holidays. "Save up your ironing" I suggested "and get a head start on that chore (while everyone else is having fun) while the games are on."

How fun! I have to wonder what Heloise thought of me, I think I was 18 or so, maybe 19 and newlywed and widowed for that New Year's day.

Another handy ironing tip I recall sending in when I was younger, (maybe 15, before boys, before cars, before New Year's) was that a tedious task such as ironing could be made more pleasant by listening to ones favorite music whilst toiling at the board. I can remember the occassion distinctly. I was in our family rec room, I had the Young Rascals Groovin' album playing, and I was happily ironing my cares away. I did all the ironing for my mother. My father required crisp white shirts daily, including weekends, as well as his boxers and handkerchiefs. I had 100 percent cotton button-down oxford shirts for my brothers and myself, and in those days, we ironed pillowcases and tablecloths. But I loved it. I still do. I think its because one can see progress as the pile shrinks. In anycase, I even took ironing in now and then, when I wanted to earn some money.

I wrote to companies too, to tell them what I thought of this or that product. Sometimes I would get a response and a coupon. One time (when I was around 14 or so) I told Frito-Lay that their puffed Cheetos tasted like the plastic bag they were packaged in. They thanked me for the letter, gave me lots of coupons. And they changed the packaging. I was so proud! So all you puffed cheeto lovers, you have me to thank for their improved quality!

But the highlight of all my hintz has to be one I sent to Heloise. I am not sure how old I was, but I hope I was young enough not to know any better. I had to have been old enough though, because I intended the letter to sound good enough to print. It probably did, but she never did print it. I think it may have been the topic. Tell me what you think.

To paraphrase, I started it something like this:

When using a public restroom, one may feel self-conscious about making noises in front of others. A few sheets of toilet paper, laid on the surface of the water, will prevent any plopping noises from being heard. etc.,

I have blocked the memory. I know I sent it, and I remember thinking it was a great tip, but she never printed it. What possibly would have made me send that in, I will never know. But I did. And I was perfectly serious.

I also have a few ideas about hiccups and preventing one from vomiting. But I think I might just keep them to myself. But if you are interested, let me know, and I will tell you.

I also have written to Abby and sent in stuff to Mornin' Folks on the local tv station. But those were not in earnest.

In other news, I have moved in. I am still unpacking and rearranging things. I need a stove. I can't find the book I was reading. I have too much stuff.

hmmmm, maybe Heloise has some hints for me.

Going home

2008-06-22T19:18:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow the movers will come and take all my tons of stuff from here to the new place. I am thinking I will take the kittikins over and sleep there, and then I can leave them there during the move.

I am exhausted but there is no end in sight. So much stuff packed into this place, just amazing. I know I don't need it all, but I haven't had a good chance to go through it all, so that will just have to wait. JJ and jerry hung four new fans for me, in addition to a bunch more stuff. Jerry made me some nice looking steps and secured them to the wall. I can't believe the generosity and the helpfulness of these people. Dorrie was over, scrubbing floors, chris brought me lovely things to put in the house. I just feel so especially blessed to have these wonderful people in my life. I certainly don't deserve it. But I will be more helpful in the future and look for ways to do nice things for all of them.

I will have to wait a week for phone and internet, so this is just a note to say that I will return after July 1st. Possibly, if I have gotten a zillion things done about settling in. Anyway, that's where I will be, and I will try to get some pictures or something so I can preserve these moments for posterity.

I should have taken pictures of the nasty filthy toilets that I managed to get clean.

Just a little update

2008-06-06T20:12:00.004-05:00

I have been very busy at work, and getting ready to move at home. I am buying a nice little house and I have been collecting boxes and trying not to get too attached to it until its a done deal. But I am closing Thursday, and so it is getting down to the wire.

I will come back with more later, I just wanted to get that bit said.

Right now I am gonna go watch Dr. Who. His daughter shows up.

Beginning of Summer

2008-05-26T20:31:00.004-05:00

I can still remember the last day of school and how totally exciting that was. It was as if the whole world was waiting for you to explore it, people to meet, romances to have, swimming, vacations, sleeping late!
I recall dreaming of having a party with a live band, and how I would get to make out with some cute boy in some dark alcove. I imagined everything, actually, I would walk around my yard and decide where the band would be, and where I could go for kissing. I never had the party, however. I didn't have enough friends to invite. I thtink that was part of the fantasy, to be popular enough to have a grand party, the coolest of the summer, and it would be remembered for years.
I had such a good imagination then, I am not sure what has happened to it over the years. Another past time would be to walk the neighborhood in the evenings with my girlfriend, talking about whatever, and often, making up stories about assignations with those cute and imagined boys, usually 4 or 5 years older than us. We would sometime pick them out of an older sibling's annual, pick the ones we thought were cute. We would take turns, first one went, then the other of us, picking several off each page. Then we would invent scenarios wherein we would get to snog one or more of these boys. We often invented fights and misunderstandings that would happen, so there could be making up. Sometimes we would imagine a parent to catch us in some kind of situation that looked much worse than it was, but we would of course be ordered never to see the young man again, but we would.
I could sort of act things out by myself too, and I was able to do this until about ten years ago. I would talk and pretend I heard the other person's response. I could imagine how it would feel to be kissed by various hearthrobs, I have had a slew of them, some quite amusing. The farthest I have ever gone in this kind of self playacting was when I in Junior High, or maybe a freshman. I was interested in Shakespeare, and especially enamoured of Romeo and Juliet. The wonderful movie done by Franco Zefferelli gave me the inspiration, and I even went so far as to sew myself one of Juliet's flowing white nightgowns. But I had short hair, so I pretended to have her long lovely hair by braiding a pair of brown tights and wearing it on my head with the legs tumbling down my back. Dressed thusly, I would run through the neighbors' yards at night, looking for dark places to hide and imagining my Romeo might find me waiting for him. It was late and no one saw me, I don't think, although I really don't know for sure. It was in the days before Neighborhood watch was required. People went to bed and the kids in that neighborhood were not really old enough to be out late. It was easy for me to slip outside without my parents hearing. Funny, I never did it with boyfriends though, just with my imaginary lovers.
I guess the funniest imaginary lover I have had was Mighty Mouse. I was his sweetheart in kindergarten. In first grade, for those who remember Topper, I can remember being fond of George, and so Marion came with him. I don't remember much more until I was 10 or so, and I adored Adam Cartright. Then later, the Beatles (John, then George), Monkees (Mike), the Rolling Stones (Brian Jones), Peter and Gordon (Gordon), The Animals (Eric Burdon??), and I guess I took a bit of a break from musicians. I didn't go to many movies, until I worked in a theatre. I didn't have many favorites, but I do remember I thought Steve McQueen in Bullit was awfully fine. And Robert Redford, of course.
I then adored Star trek, (by now I was married) It was my husband's favorite show. I liked Kirk best (and did lots of imagining about him) and then I was real interested in the relationship between he, Spock and McCoy. I liked Scotty too, for a time. The next phase was Dr Who, and the first one I saw was Tom Baker the 4th Doctor, and always my very favorite. I liked him so much I tried to not let my husband know just how much, but I was happy to watch the show with him every week, as it was his favorite show. But it was much later, after I was divorced, that I discovered there were other Tom Baker fans in the universe, and the internet was just the thing to put us all in touch with each other. What a change in my life! But, Alan Rickman has been the last of my celebrity loves. I haven't obsessed in years. I am not sure why.
I didn't only get obsessed with actors, I would get involved in books and histories etc., I read the Narnia stories, then all sorts of things about CSLewis and his contemporaries. Then there were the tolkein books, and Steven King, then the Vampire Chronicles. I still haven't finished them, but they got sort of strange in the Body Thief, I thought. I read and enjoyed the little House Books, as well as the Anne of Green Gables books, and all the other books that those stories made interesting to me.
I avoided Harry Potter for several years, just not wanting to buy into the craze, but I finally read it after Alan played Snape and I h aven't gotten enough of them yet. One of my daugters read the Lemony Snicket series, so I read those, and then the Golden Compass trio. I also indulged in the Marion Zimmer Bradley series about Avalon, and all spin offs. This lead me to reading about Arthur and the legendary and actual history of the British Isles, and everything related. It is never ending.
How about that William Mosely. What a looker he is! I wish I were young again, between he and Daniel Radcliffe, I would be in heaven.

Time Flies!

2008-05-22T11:46:00.006-05:00

Well, I am almost a homeowner. Yesterday the inspection was done. I am to close on the 12th of June. I just need to know if I will have enough money or if I need to take some out of an IRA.

Choir is over, chorus, and the chamber chorale too. I am happy for a break. I want a month off work so I can get the move done, but unfortunately, I need the salary to buy the house.

I will include a picture of the outside. It is a house I like, in a neighborhood I like, and I shall be excrutiatingly happy in it. There is a lot of work to be done inside, things like redoing the bathrooms and kitchen, relieving them of their ugly wallpaper. Some floor things too, perhaps new vinyl in the bathrooms, and kitchen. cartpet in bedrooms, and tile in the sunroom. I wonder if I could do the tile. It looks easy enough, but it would be crawling around on the floor. Not sure I could actually do that.

Another neat thing is that son-in-law has some free flights I can take wherever I want. Including England. Yes. That's correct. England. And so I think I will be going on November 4th with D. I will certainly go to NYC, and maybe back to Seattle as well, if I want to. I don't think I really want to. But there is Boston, DC, and Canada, Ireland. Hmm, maybe I need to figure out where Loreena McKennitt is playing and go there.

Well, I better get back to work. I am not feeling particulary chatty today, and I need to attempt to do some work. I haven't done a stitch of it all week, and stuff is piling up. This weekend is the memorial day holiday. I think I will be packing.

Whitsun Cheese Rolling

2008-05-12T14:13:00.005-05:00

Well, it is Whitsun Monday and as we all know, Whitsuntide is the time for the annual Cheese Roll down Cooper's Hill in Gloucestershire. The funny thing is, I was standing on the same hill, but on the opposite slope when visiting there in November of 2003. There are remains of a Roman villa near there, and I had walked up to take a look at those. If I had only known I was so close to Cooper's Hill, I could have continued to the top and looked over. An unusual sport. Anyway, here is a link for you all to read more about it. http://www.bbc.co.uk/gloucestershire/cheese_rolling/

I made an offer on another house today, it is in a neighborhood I like even better than 5 Points. so we shall see.

I didn't tell about Freyja's whirlwind visit! D and I drove to Nashville and picked her up a week ago last Friday. Saturday we went to lunch with the army of leaders. (inside joke). Saturday night, we went to jeffj's party and then the Dining with Friends dessert reception. There wasn't any by the time we got there. Sunday was my concert and dinner with jeffj, chris and hubby and Freyja and me. Then we got up about 2:00 am and started driving to Savannah. The trip was long, but uneventful. We found hannah's house and met her dog and Steven from Lincoln. She was busy with school, so we took him off for the day. We ate at Paula Deen's and that night went on a ghost tour of historic savannah. Next day we had to blow out of there, but we got to see the ocean from Tybee Island. I dropped Freyja off at the Atlanta airport and continued on home. It was a quick, but pleasant trip. Then my work week was just 3 days.

This weekend was mother's day and I had a nice one around home doing little or nothing. I am excited about this house, and I am not sure why I didn't ever look at it before, becasue it has been for sale for a while. I think I was just not impressed with the picture. The house needs some cosmetics, but it would be fun stuff, like painting etc., nothing major like remodeling. In addition, it has a detached garage-turned-bedroom with a full bath which might serve as a future home for one of my siblings should I have to take care of them in the future.

More on all that later.

May Day!

2008-05-01T13:14:00.002-05:00

I am feeling much better than I was the other day. I think I was suffering from lack of prozac. I hate to be dependent upon pills, but the alternative is not acceptable.

Anyway, I had another bit of good news today, that the house seller had reconsidered and moved a little bit closer to me. I guess we will figure out the payment and then I can consider. We also have some other houses to look at.

This week has been so packed full of things to do and places to be. Freyja comes tomorrow, D is picking me up at 9 and we will go fetch her in Nashville and bring her back. Then the concert, then the mad dash to Savannah, then I can relax. And its Mother's Day besides. I plan to relax. Maybe I will be packing!!

I am liking my little altered art project, I think it might even be good enough to offer for the silent auction tomorrow night. I di have a few things left to do on it, but I really like it. It has been fun trying out these new things, and I want to do more of them. I have ideas for some of the folk customs http://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/MayDay.htm I like to know about, I can use images of them and create visuals of some of the stuff I think about. I am thinking about the Mummers' dance in particular. I love that footage in Loreena McKennitt's video. I am tempted to get some screen captures.

More later on.

I am feeling rather worthless tonight, honestly

2008-04-28T21:37:00.005-05:00

I was thinking the other day that maybe I was grumpy because it was the moon or something, but I am feeling the same, only worse. I feel like I am not "in" the chamber chorale, I feel superfluous or like a skin tag or something. I don't feel like part of it. I don't feel like they want me in it. I feel like I am outside looking in. This is not a good way to feel, I have felt that way many times in my life. I am neither tenor or alto. I am not with any of them.

I didn't get the house. I am bummed about that, but I know I will get something. I was enjoying the idea of being in it, but I am adjusting to the idea of being here for awhile too.

My friend and sister Freyja is coming to visit me and I will be glad of diversion. I sort of wish that I wasn't singing and then we could go on the Savannah and really have a trip. I was excited about the concert, but now I dread it. I don't want to do it. Its like you are standing talking to people and when you look around to hear what they say, there isn't anyone there. you were just talking to yourself. I feel foolish and invisible. Such a familiar feeling it is. Or when you show up somewhere and everyone but you got the info that the location was switched. sometimes I just have to wonder is it me? Am I imagining this? It is sad how moments like this sort of dissolve all the years spent pumping oneself up, convincing yourself that your really are okay and that you are great even, and its all so much bullshit.

I guess I am glad the season is over. I don't think I really want to be in it next year. But I don't want to not be in it either. Maybe the roster will change. I hope so. It makes chorus bearable. sometimes.

I just re read the previous entry. I was feeling this way last week too, same night, right after rehearsal. Why? I don't know. Is it my imagination or is there something I am picking up on?

grumpy

2008-04-21T21:58:00.003-05:00

Not sure why, but I feel mad. I guess about the music we are going to sing at our concert in 2 weeks. We had lots of time to learn things, but we keep singing the same things over and over. They ain't that great, so lets learn something new.

I am not sure if it is because he asks others to do things for him. He seems to have perceptions of people already in his head. I don't always agree with them, which is really my problem, I guess, but I feel irritated, or maybe I feel envious. I get to do strange things for him. Nothing very exciting. Makes me wonder if I need to even be in the damn thing. I guess I just want to feel special in some way. I just sort of feel like it makes no difference if I am in it or not.

Anyway, I have come home in a foul mood, and the house is hot, as if the air hasn't been on. I sure hope it isn't broken, I don't think I could do with a hot house right now. At least I have the A/C in the bedroom window. So I am hot and irritated. Chrisj just wanted to go to the grocery. I don't care she can just go, I won't try to make her go with me. In future I will just come home and eat worms.

I made an offer on the house, of 120,000 and he came back with 134,000. I am dissapointed. I guess I could go up as high as 127,000, but I really don't want my payment to take 1000 dollars plus of my measly pay. I want to be able to live there even if I don't have a job. So now I don't know what to do. I also have to find some insurance. But worst of all is I rolled my SAIC 401K to vanguard IRA and they sent me a bunch of stuff in the mail what I don't understand. I just wish that stuff was easier for me to get. I just don't get it.

I wish I felt a bit happier. I don't think I felt this down in quite some time. I feel weepy. Maybe its the moon.

my little art piece is coming along, albeit slowly. It is hard to make layers and keep the thing from looking contrived. I wish I had more experience with paint and such, I don't have much to choose from, and I am not sure how to get the effects I want. It would please me to do a piece that looks good.

Billy's Birthday

2008-04-14T23:03:00.004-05:00

We had a great time. It was me, Chrisj, Anne, Randall and Tony, then Billy and Jane. I gave him a book about Randall Thompson. He was very impressed. I think he really liked it. I made a pan of brownies too, and we had some after we ate supper. It was a lot of fun, Jane was very amusing making noises with her straw, and Billy had some woody allen glasses in his pocket that he put on and looked at us like nothing was amiss. It was a great success.

Jane took the job as director of the Advocacy Center. I am so impressed! I told her I often spoke there during training and she seemed pleased to hear that. I hope she gets along well.

I have been working hard and recovering from all the singing. That is going along all right, and now we are preparing for a concert of the Chamber Chorale and also one by our church choir. My friend Freyja will be visiting me during the chamber's concert, so she will get to hear me sing. I think it will be fun.

I didn't hear anything about the house loan today, I figured the broker sent my loan thing to the credit bureau, and I still haven't gotten my money. I do wish it would come because I need it. I need some sandals and also to have the money for the down payment etc., so I can make an offer and get on with it.

I had a decent weekend, getting quite a bit done around here, and I also started on my first altered art collage. I have tried several techniques, the most amazing of which was the transfer using gel medium. I transferred a bit of music onto another piece of paper. When I removed the transfer, the staff and notes were backwards, but it worked great. I can't wait to do some with pictures. I want to do the ones of the women I found, and also other old looking photos. One of the blogs I read said to use paint as the medium, and then you get a bit of color with the transfer. I need to get some of those paints.

Well, I think I will post one of the pictures I intend to use in one of my forthcoming collages and then call it a night. I am pretty tired and the morning comes early around here with those cats who wake me at the crack of dawn.

Dr. A and the community chorus

2008-04-06T00:13:00.002-05:00

My new hero. What an inspiration, truly. I wish I had a feel for how we did. All I know is I sang my heart out. I think it showed on us. It was an all around, bang up night. There were people I loved in the audience, it was Billy's birthday, I sat next to Joe, I had no coughing fits. It was just great.

Anton really was an inspiration. He was quite exacting, but he was pleased with our abilities and said we were well prepared and he liked that. He got to actually make music with us. He gave several heartful speeches about things, Martin Luther King, how we need a change, how we need singing and love in this world. He charged us with the responsibility of keeping choral music, great music alive by learning and performing it. He was great.

Afterwards, our dinner was at Olive Garden, with the usuals and Joe. My dinner was bought by JC, and it was rather funny that Billy's wife and some of their old friends were at another table so he actually came out to eat anyway. So we annoyed him a little. He is quite fond of us all.

ANyway, I am wired up, but need to sleep. so more later. Let everything that has breath, everything that has breath, let everything that has breath praise the lord! oh yeah!

Anton Armstrong

2008-04-04T23:19:00.004-05:00

Its sad, really. I am so charged up for this concert and I really haven't got anyone to share the joy with. The people I sing with, yes, they are interested. But not anyone else in particular. That's one reason why I thought it would be nice for any partner of mine to be interested in choirs and choral music. That being said, I still haven't seen anyone who is interesting except married men or gay men. sigh*

I like Sam* (named changed to protect the innocent). He is scruffy and wild and so sexy. I wish I could just do things to him. But, that isn't likely and so I just get to think about it instead. He's married. Whether happily, I haven't ascertained. But he would not be interested in me that way, not presently, anyhow. And so I have something to think about.

The choral festival is going along very well. Anton is amazing. I am real cranked up to sing, he is able to get sounds out of us that we didn't even know we had. I think it will be one of the best concerts ever. CJ and his are coming, and Jerry and his. Jeffj has some other mysterious plans. D flat won't come. Sabine can't come. no one in my family would come. sigh* I will just have to enjoy the moment with the singers.

Billiboi's birthday is tomorrow. I thought it was something not many knew but they all know and already provided for a sooprise and cards. I spoke to Jane about giving him a party after the concert. She was non-commital. But she has friends visiting, and might prefer to spend her time with them. I think I am just going to invite him out on the Monday following our chamber chorale rehearsal. Sam* wants to go too, and it won't be such a hassle on Monday as it will late Saturday night. That way, he will not have to come up with an excuse, and I think he would enjoy it more Monday. It would be a smaller group, which I would like.

I need to get to bed, but I also need to see my kitties and dry some clothes. My dryer can't be left unattended. I don't want to stay up late, but neither do I want to get up early. We have to be at the church at 930 and I have got to do something with my hair. I might just get it a bit wet and not saturate. I will not get it dry in this weather. I don't want frizz.

Tomorrow, we are supposed to wear our chorus attire (shirts and khaki pants) and I just don't want to. None of it fits me well, and I look like humpty dumpty in it. I think I shall rebel against the uniform nazis and wear regular clothes. I really don't care if they nag at me or not. They can't send me home.

Well, I am postponing bed, and I need not. so goodnight until I have time to tell all about the big concert tomorrow.

Where did March go?

2008-03-31T22:44:00.003-05:00

I have been sick for most of it. hack hack* I think I am finally feeling like a human being again. I was beginning to wonder.

This week is the Choral Festival in Huntsville and it will be a 3 day singing marathon. I hope I am up for it. I know the music fairly well, and I hope it will be rewarding, learning from Anton Armstrong, but I am afraid it will physically be more than my temperature can withstand. There will be 300 plus people on the stage.

I have also been looking for a house to buy. I am figuring out where I want to live, and what I must have in a house, especially since I am spending such a large amount of money. I have been thinking about teeny tiny houses, but then I will have difficulty having people over for dinner. I really do want to be able to do that.

Anyway, I am not in the chattiest of moods right now, so I will find a nice picture to post and hang it up for the day.

I love this picture, although I know it is rather off-color. But I just felt like it. Skeletons rule!

more snot

2008-03-18T12:52:00.005-05:00

It amazes me how much snot one person can manufacture in a day. I wonder if it has been cooped up all this time in my sinuses, or if it is a new batch each day. Well, I seem to have an abundance of the stuff. I would welcome a break from it.

I don't know whats wrong with me lately. I just have not felt good and can't seem to shake this cold/flu/sinusitis/crud. I want to feel better, I try to rest more and do what I'm supposed to, I just can't seem to.

It is almost Easter, and following that, the Choral Festival which I dread like I don't know what. But after those events, maybe life will slow down a little.

I have been mentally preparing to do some altered art, collages and such, to see if that might be a viable outlet for my pent up creativity. So far, as usual, I got the stuff but haven't started.

On tv sunday night some guy had a show about losing weight. His deal is: when you are hungry, eat; eat what you want, not what you think you should; eat consciously, tasting, savoring, enjoying, chewing at least 20 times and leaving out distractions. Put the fork down in between each bite. Last, stop when you are full.

Next he will discuss emotional eating by talking about why we over eat. for this, he uses tapping, a therapy I have used before involving the accupuncture pressure points, and tapping on them in certain patterns and repititions. It called Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) . I had a therapist use it for some of my esteem issues. It was amazing and it actually worked. You do have to break things down to a real basic level, so you can address each part. I think that's why I never really pursued that too much, it was hard to dissect everything, then process how many ever of single issues. In those days, a therapist usually did it, but now it seems like a person can do it for themselves.
Anyway, soon we will see people tapping their fingertips on their forehead or cheekbones, and tapping wildly, to rid themselves of some craving, or to banish some negative thought. It will be interesting to see exactly how he approaches it. But it seems interesting enough to watch, and maybe I will be inspired enough to work his plan. Already I have failed to eat without distractions, by surfing at lunch, or eating in front of ye olde tv. But I must try in earnest.

So simple, isn't it? just love and accept ourselves. The key to everything.

skellies

2008-03-03T11:18:00.002-06:00

I just love skeletons. They are so cute. I found some youtube videos of a puppet dancing. Then I found this. It was very amusing.

fever and ague

2008-02-23T09:20:00.006-06:00

I have been in a peculiar state of agitation lately. I feel an overwhelming need to buy a house. Not just a house that I can afford comfortably and be happy in, but rather something extraordinary, something beyond my meager means. Actually, I have liked the idea of simplifying. I have been buying less stuff and getting rid of the unnecessary clutter, as if I have been decluttering my psyche at the same time. But I have been smitten with bungalow fever.

I found out that some craftsman-inspired houses are being built on one of the rattier streets in Five Points. I know that values are sure to rise as the area is being remade into something chic and highly desireable. But I don't want a payment that will take half my income and leave me strapped as in previous times.

I have lived most of my adult life with money problems. They are directly caused by my ADD and I have finally learned to manage the problem, provided that I keep a tab on things. That isn't easy to do either, but it is the nature of the beast. I still waste money, but at least I make sure the bills get paid first. So now, the thought of robbing proverbial Peter to pay Paul is not something I want to return to.

I also know myself well enough to recognize that it is best that I don't bother with getting a fixer-upper. I simply never get around to fixing anything. I want to do things; I buy paint and lumber and tools, etc., but I tire of the idea, often before I get started. I want stuff now. I don't want to wait, or work at it, I want it right this second. How many times have I gone to the garden center and bought a bunch of stuff to plant before I was ready to actually plant it?

It's no matter. This is me. I won't change my lifelong ways. Therefore, I need a house to be live-in ready. If I spend money on the house, then there won't be enough for new furniture. And yes. I would like to have new, high quality furniture one day, a style that I pick, that I like, and that I can live with. All my life I have made do with leftovers, and hand-me-downs. I want things to match, have a theme, reflect my personality, and all the list of things we have come to believe are so very important.

And I guess that's just it. Deep down, I know they really aren't very important.

So where is all this house-hunger coming from? I think I know. House and Garden tv, for one. But also the possessions of my friends are influencing me. It's subversive. I sometimes feel inadequate to have people over, they won't like my makeshift situation. They won't want to spend time in less than perfect (and leased) surroundings. I know all this is a load of crap. But I feel like my house is shabby. Well, it is. I have cast-offs and bits and bobs of this and that. Some of it I like, and some of it I don't, but it works and is serviceable. Now I could keep it cleaner, but that is another rant. But I can't see getting rid of something that still has use, though sometimes I do. But I don't redecorate on a whim. ha ha, I have never really decorated in the first place. I think neat and tidy and comfortable are descriptions I prefer. The only thing I would add to that list is "mine." It would be nice to have something to call my own.

There have been so many false starts and thwarted efforts and forgotten dreams in my life. I wish I knew how to keep at something until I got what I wanted.

Well, this is what I want right now. And wanting it, doesn't put me in a mood to clean and tidy up the leased townhouse I live in now. I can't be bought off with the dream of someday having this house. I want it this moment, and I want the insides to be cosy, homey, comfortable and filled with the people I love.

It isn't so far from what I have right now. It just is more aesthetically pleasing. Well, I guess I could go watch design on a dime and see what I could do to make it better here. Then I can go to the homestore and buy some paint and what not. Then I could bring it home and let it sit in the kitchen while I actually have time to paint. Then I could step over it and around it for 9 months or so, before taking it out to the garage and sticking it out there until I get re-inspired. THen it could get buried in there for several years until I stumble upon it later and breathe a sigh of relief that I hadn't actually painted the walls that color because I don't like it anymore. Then I can put the newest paint pan and pack of rollers in the box with the rest of them, and figure that I might ought to have a garage sale.

But then I would have to clean the garage first, and I don't want to. Maybe I will take a nap first, before getting started. Yes, a nap is just the thing.

Skellies Dancing

2008-02-11T10:38:00.000-06:00

I did a google on jaunty skeletons and surprisingly, got lots of results. One was this Silly Symphony, I am not sure I ever saw it before, but the song was familiar. As well as the antics. Enjoy!

catching up

2008-02-08T19:42:00.000-06:00

I feel like I haven't been here, I think its just been a week or so. I had dinner with D. tonight. It was nice as we haven't seen each other for some time. We had a nice long visit over clam chowder at Panera's. He misses me and all the gang, he is even thinking about making the trip in on Mondays so he can have a visit with me and Chris J. after chorus. well, he will have to do with billiboi, like it or not. He is always invited. We havent' been going lately.

I have been on an internet detective hunt for Tom Baker (the 4th and best Dr Who). We want to know an address so we can write to him, but we have also been trying to pinpoint his location in the event that someone travels over there. It's a thankless, but fun job. I found a B&B that he lived in for a time. But he is gone now. So I am back to square 1.

I never really told any of my crazy fangirl activities before. But about 6 years ago I found out exactly where Tom lived. And there was nothing we could do about it. We couldn't send mail or telephone, for fear of alerting them to the fact we knew. I couldn't just dash over, since it was in Kent, and I am not. And so I just knew it. Then by the time I actually got over there, he had moved to France. But all that is old news.

I am currently IM-ing an old Dr Who friend who lives in Bristol. He calls himself a timelord and is convincing. I have missed him. We used to talk several times a day. He is now definitely a Time Lord. I am glad to hear it, he is much better than he was, he is feeling happy and whole. I told him how we were trying to pinpoint Tom, and he said that just this week, Tom was spotted in the local PC world. So perhaps I shall turn my attention to that direction and begin my sleuthing.

At this particular moment, however, I think I will go downstairs and try to find something to fend off a bad cold I feel coming on.

mid-week deep thoughts

2008-01-30T09:19:00.000-06:00

It occurred to me this morning that I don't accept happiness readily. I try to fret about if I am happy enough, or when it will stop, or whatever. Sort of spoiling the positivity with doubt. I am happy at this moment. I will take off the time limitation. I am happy.

It is all relative, just like the experts say. I have previously looked for reasons to be happy, or persons who make me happy, rather than just accepting things and not questioning or talking myself out of it. I am just happy.

I am busy at work, doing work that needs doing, people are appreciative, and what an incentive that is after so many years of frustration and nothing to do.

I have beautiful, loving daughters with caring hearts and love and acceptance for their mother. I have a great son-in-law, loyal, hardworking and good-looking (which gives me hope of beautiful grandchildren someday).

I have a group of friends who love me, trust me, want to hang around with me. In other words, they feel about me the way I usually feel about my friends. I have pined so long to have such friends. And now here they are. They are a blessing and I am so very grateful.

I have talents. I can sing and it lightens my heart and connects me to positive energy. I can communicate. I have interesting ideas. I have good things. I am full to the very brim.

I am happy.

The UnNamedOne

2008-01-28T23:34:00.000-06:00

I haven't obsessed lately and I am happy to see the end of it. I had a nice meeting with the UnNamedOne today and was able to talk at length about what's been happening in the chorus. We are getting ready for Choirfest. He was most attentive to my serious stuff and very playful and fun for the rest of the time. very amusing he is, and cute. I was telling him that I am not thrilled about the music, but Anton Armstrong picked most of what I don't like. But I am sure Armstrong will be inspiring, no matter what we sing. In any case, I had a nice time with UnNamedOne. It was quite normal and comfortable.

One one hand, I am happy not to be pining away, but on the other hand, it can be sort of uninteresting not having some one to think about. But right now it just doesn't seem to be an issue, so I will enjoy the down time. Obsession can be tiring. I wonder how many calories are used obsessing.

I did a whole bunch of cleaning and rearranging stuff in my craft room. I am not finished yet, but I got moving on it and really accomplished more than I had planned to. I want to start sewing, and now at least, I have the machine set up and I can actually sit down and sew. But I still must clear out my bedroom of all its sewing stuff.

I stayed out late and felt bad that my kitties were left alone so long tonight, but they don't seen to be plussed, so I guess they are learning my schedule and adapting. This is good. I don't want to leave them alone, but they do have each other, and can play, etc.,

I haven't talked to D in awhile. I suppose I ought to call and see what he is doing. Maybe I will email him tomorrow. And then jj went to Atlanta to meet someone and I haven't heard back from him yet. I will have to call him and see how it went. I might go to B ham this weekend, I need to go to Macy's and have the inventory thingy removed from one of my shirts I got in San Fran. Sabine maybe will go. I would like that. Today for lunch I treated wanda to barbeque, she was craving it and kept talking about it to where I got to craving it as well. So we went and ate and enjoyed it. I have felt sort of stuffed ever since.

I am actually waiting for the stuffed feeling to subside so I can go to bed and lie down without feeling urpy. I don't like feeling this way. I have never had much problem with my stomach and there have been several things lately. I don't like getting old for that reason. too many health things to fret over.

washing day at Mary's

2008-01-24T20:43:00.000-06:00

Well, it is finally going to happen, Mary is getting her washer moved to her house. I am glad, and today I found a cabinet that goes over the washer and dryer, sort of like the one that goes over the toilet. Then she will have additional space and the kitchen might look less crappy. I will also be glad to get some of the space back. I think I might just stick the other broken dryer out to be picked up and be done with it.

I am feeling a desire to clean and tidy up. Not quite spring cleaning, but just getting organized, I guess. I am tired of extra baggage in all areas of my life.

I had a good trip to SF. It was expensive, but I had enough fun to make up for that part of it. I got to see Cliff House, and I finally sang in a cathedral (other than St. Phillips). yay.

I have been quite busy at work, I am retyping a big document that was corrupted. I like having such tasks, I am busy, but it doesn't tax me. Work has been okay lately. I am glad I don't hate going like I have in the past.

I got the delta blues

2008-01-17T05:30:00.000-06:00

well we have been screwed as far as our trip goes. Delta has changed twice already, and we haven't even gotten out of the house yet. And of course they don't answer the phone. Right now, we leave here at 12:48 and get to atlanta only to wait there until 7 pm. unacceptable. grr, I am wasting my time on hold while other plans could be being made.

more later when i have both hands free.

thoughts on the disposition of deceased pets

2008-01-14T19:58:00.000-06:00

Two different people in a group of three stated that they would obtain the "cremains" of their pets and keep or scatter them.

I have loved my pets over the years. Some of them have been buried, and some have been euthanized. Never once have I given much thought to getting their ashes. If they were incurably sick, I felt it right to have them put down. I am not objecting to the practice; it is just that the idea has never, ever occurred to me.

Likewise, as far as my own remains, I am not so sure that I feel the need to buried and have a stone to indicate I existed. I guess I don't really see it as that my existence has ended, rather, it has just changed. But I think perhaps I would like cremation, but I am not so concerned about what they do with the ashes.

A few years back there was this huge scandal involving a crematorium and relatives of the deceased. It seemed the man wasn't actually cremating the bodies, but burying them or something. Now I would be mad about being bilked, but the counterfeit ashes had come back, and the funeral had been performed. Why all the fuss on whose ashes you got?? They are ashes just the same.

I don't think I am being crass, I honestly feel this way. I mean no disrespect to the dead or to people who are comforted by having a grave or an urn of ashes, I just am puzzled that I have a total lack of sentiment about the handling of the remains.

I just wanted to say this, as I have been thinking about it.

But on second thought, I do like looking at graves of famous historical figures, so I guess this really isn't about humans as it is about scattering the ashes of pets.

We go to San Francisco Thursday. I am looking forward to it, but there is much to get done in preparation. And I seem to be suffering from some sort of intestinal upset. I do hope I feel better tomorrow.

I started a wiki for my Doctor Who friends to plan our next reunion. I hope people will actually use it. I think wikis are pretty neat, and might work very well for the planning of our weekend.

Well, time to go to bed, I think. I am worth little else this evening.

Sinclair

2008-01-11T14:21:00.000-06:00

Here is Sinclair from Close My Eyes. I couldn't quickly find a good quality picture.

More of a good thing

2008-01-09T12:34:00.001-06:00

Alan

2008-01-08T15:57:00.001-06:00